Whitney Joy
[00.00.03]
It has been humbling. Oh my goodness. Living the journey was one thing. Just take off and travel and dive in was amazing. And it was nine years ago. At this point, writing the journey has been alarmingly parallel with the processes that I've had to go through, the limiting beliefs, the roadblocks. Because guess what? The universe sends you patterns and we're never done evolving. We are never done learning about ourselves or those around you, or how we are all connected. Before we dive in, let me tell you about the book that started a podcasting revolution. Make Every Podcast Want you. It is not just a bestseller, it is a two time gold medalist. Baby, this book is your ultimate guide to landing dream podcast interviews, building authority authentically and making your voice the one they remember. If you've got a message and a mission, this is your mic drop moment. Grab your copy today in the link below and step into the spotlight that you were born for. Welcome to the Communication Queens podcast for the visionary leaders, speakers, service providers and podcasters who are looking to stand out sharing their story. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, former screenwriter turned master communications coach. On this podcast, I'll be coaching you on how to share your own transformation story so that you increase your visibility, influence, and income on podcast interviews. Let's get your voice heard. Whitney Joy, welcome to the communication Queen podcast.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.01.40]
I am so excited to have you here sharing about your brand new book and the visibility that is coming behind the book and the process of this journey of being a first time author.
Whitney Joy
[00.01.56]
Thank you so much for having me. Kimberly. I'm absolutely thrilled. I'm filled with joy to be here. I'm so excited.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.02.02]
I think one of my favorite things about this is this is your first podcast interview.
Whitney Joy
[00.02.07]
I feel like I'm in very good hands and I'm excited to be a beginner. I'm really excited to be like, just just dive in. Whatever happens,
Kimberly Spencer
[00.02.14]
happens. That's that's one of the greatest mindsets to be in, especially because one of the challenges that I've seen with more experienced podcast guests is they go on and they wing it like they're so good at being good that there's a beauty in being a beginner. So when it comes to podcast interviews, you're going to be asked two questions always. And the first is tell us about yourself. And some variation will be tell us about yourself. Tell us about your book. So let's start there. Thank you. Well, from the beginning, I'm a farm girl from Wisconsin. I'm the sixth generation to grow up in my family's farm, and I grew up in the church and in a teepee, knowing where my food came from and also flying around in private jets. So my life kind of was exposed to opposites from the beginning. I lived in Vail, Colorado, in my 20s. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Extreme sports. I love to feel that. I love the challenge. I love the community. After living in Vail for ten years, I went through a full identity crisis. At 30 years old, I lost my husband, who we had a crazy, connected love. My job, who I also loved, was in that relationship for ten years. And my home, which was where I envisioned having kids all in 24 hours. So being a pretty arrogant perfectionist at that time, I really, really wanted to fix it. I was in full denial that something like this could happen, but instead of that, I heard this tiny voice inside that was, go get lost! This is your chance to figure out who you are, not who you think you're supposed to be. So I realized that I had a couple of pages left in my passport before I had to surrender it and change back to my maiden name, and I decided to go all in. Dive into the pain. Dive into the mess. See what I was capable of ideas like from the books. The Alchemist and Celestine Prophecy had always inspired me. What is manifestation? What is our intuition? What? What is energy that we're all connected to? So I took off. I traveled to fill those pages, and what unfolded was. Adventure around the world? Absolutely. Diversified experiences? Absolutely. I mean, I had never been single. I was figuring out Tinder in foreign countries. But more importantly, I was called out and some really important topics in life of ignoring my internal evolution, being
Whitney Joy
[00.04.30]
too naive to face the mirror, look at my shadow, and I ended up going on this incredible introspective journey and learned accountability, taking responsibility for fault, and really getting down to being honest with myself. And after that I ended up living abroad for a couple of years. I reinvented my career. Coming full circle, I when I was finally ready to be the person that I needed to be in a relationship, I found the man that I was meant to marry. And we did get married. And we have two incredible, radiant, curious children and I'm living in Austin, Texas.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.05.06]
It's amazing what you did such a great job summarizing this decade like decade chapter of of your life and of the book and of the the journey that you've been on. And one of the things I just want to point out from a communication standpoint is that you did it without going into everything. I mean, that only took a few minutes. And I think that's something that's really exceptional that you did really well. Is so often sometimes that intro, even for myself. Like brevity is not my specialty and people will go for ten minutes sharing. Answering that one question. Because how do you answer the question of tell me about yourself and how did you get started? When it's been like decades in the making and it's your life story, how do you condense that into 3 to 4 minutes? That really hooks the audience. I think you did a beautiful job at just giving us these beautiful, these snippets of the polarity between the farm girl and the jet setting life and the journey that you went on, the end that you take us on through your book.
Whitney Joy
[00.06.17]
Thank you. I appreciate that because like you said, I mean, all of us live full lives. Everybody can talk about themselves for a long time and it's all important. But what you mentioned before is we're here in service of the listeners. So sometimes I try to think of, I try to feel I'm not thinking through this right now. I'm feeling of what's important, what is going to help change somebody's day.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.06.38]
One of the initiations of writing your book was this calling to write truth and not only for your readers, but also, you know, to tell the story to your kids of who you were before you became mama. So what's been that journey, writing the book, going through the process of publication? I mean, it's coming out in just a few weeks as of the release date of this podcast. So this is a huge experience and release that you share a lot of intimate, vulnerable moments that some women might be like, oh my gosh, she's sharing that publicly. And it is beautifully written, guys. I have had the honor of having a sneak early copy and it is amazing. But tell us about the journey of like actually putting your life on paper and putting it out there for the world to see.
Whitney Joy
[00.07.28]
Well, thank you for asking. And I know you know what I'm talking about as a mama, as somebody that's written about themselves, reinvented themselves and, um, gone down the path of vulnerability and transparency. So thank you for asking the question and letting me share it, because it has been humbling. Oh my goodness. Living the journey was one thing, which is take off and travel and dive in was amazing. And it was nine years ago. At this point, writing the journey has been alarmingly parallel with the processes that I've had to go through, the limiting beliefs, the roadblocks. Because guess what? The universe sends you patterns and we're never done evolving. We are never done learning about ourselves or those around you or how we are all connected. So writing for me did start as a love letter to my children. I was pregnant and just telling them stories. And I'm a mama who loves to tell stories. Bedtime at our house is very fun, but I was telling my belly stories of myself in past lives, and all of a sudden I couldn't stop telling the story. And I looked at my husband and I'm like, I think I really need to write this down. I really need to get it out of me. It wants to come out. I am birthing something out here. And then when I started, I realized I am not good at this. I need help, which as a recovering perfectionist, was something that I'm quicker to admit now, but still not always easy. So I reached out and I did a lot of research and I tried to find a coach I learned what does it take to write a book? I learned about the art of writing because this is not my background by experience or education, and there is so much knowledge and craft that goes into every single book on the shelf that I decided to write my book as a story. It's a nonfiction narrative because that's how I organically started telling my child I wanted it to stay that way, so I had to learn about. Character development and story arcs and theme development. And again, I did this with a team. I could not have done it by myself, but I hired a coach and then an editor, and then people along the way that called me out. That helped me thin out my story. Because like you said in the beginning, how do we discern the noise from the gold? And it took somebody outside who didn't know me to help see me. And so the process took about two years over two babies and a lot of writing retreats, because when your mama, it's not the easiest thing to get uninterrupted quiet time. And for me, writing the story was emotional like you touched on. So to go to those places, to get into character, to feel again, because I was like, If I'm not feeling it, the reader is not going to. So to relive those moments was therapy in itself, but also I needed some space to do it. So anyway, over a couple of years, then I started researching publishing. That is a whole nother language. I'll say. It is another language which I am not adept, but I found somebody that is so. I love your company's motto of a rising tide lifts all boats, and I have found that doing this with a team is the only way that I'm going to be able to do it well. And I'm so grateful for everybody that's helped, including yourself. And the fact is that the journey is just beginning. So much is still evolving and just starting. It
Kimberly Spencer
[00.10.33]
is, um, the writing journey in and of itself. I think there's so much to be said for managing expectations, and I see it with podcasting. I see it with when. So many people, when they come to me, they're like, oh, I want to start my own podcast. And they're expecting to be Rogan within like six months. And I'm like, let's, let's manage expectations, how we'll be able to hold the vision for what you see your art becoming, whether it's a podcast or a book or a course or whatever it is that you're creating. But being able to build that support network around you, ask for resources, ask for that advice, and and look at like, how are how have you had to do the dance between holding the vision for what it is you want to create with your book? Because I know you have a big vision for this, for the, um, and being able to look at with acceptance, like where you are now and like pull from those little beautiful droplets that the universe gives you of like, here's a possibility here to lean into. Here's a possibility here to lean into.
Whitney Joy
[00.11.42]
Oh, I love I love this topic. Something I believe a lot in is the power of inception. We are spirits at the end of the day, who chose to come down here and walk this human experience to be human. That doesn't mean to be a perfect human. That doesn't mean to have it all figured out. We need the power of inception. We have to live what we're learning. Think of your most favorite quote or generic one. Love is blind. Full, simple, almost a cliche because you hear it so often. But if you're in a relationship and all of a sudden you see something that you never did before and you were like, wow, I was blind because of love. If you have a unique moment of inception of that quote, it's part of you. Now all of a sudden you get it and it's the same thing. I that's the same way that I look at this journey. If I'm already Joe Rogan or anybody else at the end, I miss the joy along the way. And that's another point. It's supposed to be fun. You can't be perfect at everything. But I like this journey because we're meant to live it, and I truly feel that this is a path I honestly didn't choose. But but it is one that I'm embarking on with courage and grace to learn and to walk with those who've already done it before. But I like evolving. We are here to evolve, and that means that there's always a way to get better. There's always another something to accomplish. You are not the first guest on this podcast to be like. I didn't choose to start speaking out and speaking my truth and start sharing my story, but like, it chose me. And it's there's a leaning into that divine will in essence of this thing beyond you that you know is part of what you're here to do. And. A
Kimberly Spencer
[00.13.28]
lot of your book is about finding and building that relationship with that trust of the unknown. Now, as you're in this next stage of your journey of like getting the book out there. What are the unknowns that you're now leaning into trusting?
Whitney Joy
[00.13.43]
What are the unknowns feedback or it's going to be a new experience having a lot of feedback. Unknown is what does success look like? Because I'm very much switching to what does it feel like? And for me, I will know success when I feel it. And it can be. It's not a number of book sales. It's not a accolade or something, a metric. I will feel it with the impact that it makes by those that read it. Known is also how it's going to change my family's life or my life. You know, it might not at all. That's okay. It might change it in massive ways, but it's an unknown. That's that's exciting. I personally love having unknown futures because I am a manifesto and I am very driven. I'm a Capricorn. I'm a challenger. I have a goal. I will get it done. But I. I thrive in not knowing because I focus on feeling. And I think this is a really important time in my life to remember
Kimberly Spencer
[00.14.49]
that. I think one of the interesting parts of your book is when you took, like, the sabbatical from social media, and you have not been very active on social media with building a brand. You now are doing that as you're building the brand for this book. But what is it about social media that either has had an aversion, or you just haven't really wanted to have that level of visibility? And what is calling you forth into another level of visibility? Now,
Whitney Joy
[00.15.16]
I think what's calling me forth is the reach. Without being visible, the story doesn't get out. And I wrote the story to get out. So it's part of it. I need to do it. And I have absolutely had resistance to social media. I have a little bit of bias, a little bit growing up. Like I'm kind of the last generation that grew up without Facebook. I didn't have a cell phone until I was at the end of high school. You know, so it's like, I like being detached. I like engaging with intention. And I think I just have a misunderstanding because of how social media has kind of become inundated in everything in life that I have to do it how other people do it. And you've really helped me step outside of that resistance to it and find my own way to be authentic more, to have a relationship with it, to still share with intention, but to not be so afraid of sharing honestly or afraid of making a mistake. That again, with the feedback of the unknown or being a recovered perfectionist, that's still in me. We all have an ego that wants to be viewed in a certain way, and detaching from that takes layers. And social media for me, is another layer to go through. So one post at a time. I will keep working on it.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.16.33]
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Whitney Joy
[00.17.12]
I think that's what's Magical is like it was. It came up in one of our sessions, and it was actually your breakthrough that you referenced in your own book of how you named Tinder and and how how you built Tanya Tinder and the relationship as you ventured back into the dating world. And it was altering your relationship with looking at these other social platforms as rather than this amorphous. Big tech thing of just brand X like exposure and like almost like an advertisement versus being in a relationship. And what what does it feel like since you're so based on feeling the difference between a platform where there's a relationship being built and a platform that feels more like advertising because I assume online, I never I dated before. Online dating was the thing
Kimberly Spencer
[00.18.06]
before I had to do online dating, and so I didn't. I never got to experience that online
Whitney Joy
[00.18.13]
dating magic of like it being a platform that you go on. But my friends have. And so being able to like learn from your experience in the book and then now seeing the cyclical experience with you, building a relationship on social media,
Kimberly Spencer
[00.18.31]
how has that changed the way you feel about it and how you approach it?
Whitney Joy
[00.18.35]
Well, I'm just beginning to do that, and it's a great reminder to think, to remember how I've done it in the past. And with Tanya. Tanya was my gal pal when I was disconnected from everybody else in the world. As you mentioned, I was off social media when I was traveling. I didn't call my parents my friends. I really couldn't handle any unsolicited advice when I was trying to figure out stuff for myself. And as a people pleaser, that was a really important breakthrough to make. However, Tanya helped me because I did want to meet people. I wanted to learn about myself with dating. I wanted to get past to see what everything was all about. I mean, I was with my ex-husband since I was 18 years old and we got divorced. I was 30, so I didn't really date before that either. And I realized partway through my journey that I was actually manifesting my dates because what I was feeling the universe was sending back in terms of messengers. And it was amazing when I was like, wow, I wanted all of my comfort zones to be crossed. Check Mark with one guy. I wanted to be treated like a princess. Check Mark with this amazing other guy. I wanted to feel anyway, like you get the idea. The universe sent back what I was calling for in terms of dates, and that's a great reminder because I haven't thought of social media like that. We talked about the relationship, how I can open up, but I think that's the next step I need to explore is what can I feel through this medium? To have the universe send back to me with opportunity and that might help my motivation be clear, be truer.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.20.08]
What would you love to feel?
Whitney Joy
[00.20.11]
From social media. Acceptance, inspiration, possibility are the first three things that come because that feeling is what I want to inspire. So I think I need to feel it myself with everything that I'm doing because like attracts like and if I want myself, how could I expect somebody else to? So I think that's something that I will sit with after this interview. Love that word acceptance, because there's some I talk about in my book about the the fact that I never really look at the podcast that I've been rejected for. And there was one particularly masochistic day that I just decided to look through the spreadsheet and all the green in the red, and there was this one podcast that was, like, glaringly red, and it was like, not a right fit. Two motivational. I was like, what the heck? So I looked up who this podcaster was and I was like, oh my God, thank you for not accepting me onto your show. Like thank you. It was all staunch hard
Kimberly Spencer
[00.21.08]
business lessons and and just like attracts like. And I was like my. Whole ethos around my perspectives, around holistic success and business being a vessel for fulfillment. Not just like, here's all these staunch business. I was like, thank you so much for rejecting me. Initially, my ego was bruised and went down the rabbit hole, but as soon as I got to the website, I saw this illusion of acceptance that I had craved from external validation. And I was like, yeah, dang right. I'm too motivational and I and I like, there's no way I'm tamping that down for being a jaded, bitter business person. So where do you draw the line with your own personal acceptance and where seeking? It's not necessarily seeking validation, but where others accepting you onto, whether it's shows or in social media or your content. Where do you draw those on your own personal boundaries around that? Well, right now I go where the energy goes. So I feel that when I get denied from something that there's a reason, you know, your ego is still in there in the mix no matter what. So much we feel things, however I do, I have a pretty innate practice of trust. If something doesn't come to fruition, it's not meant to be. And if I don't accept it, then that means that there's something I'm missing there and I keep going. I'll go another way. There's, for instance, if I get denied on a podcast, I really want to be on a bike. Okay, I'll dive into it. Why? Who else do I need to talk to? Because there's always a back door. There's always a back back door. If something is really meant to be, we can find a way. But at the same time, there's a lot of grace and surrender to. Nope, not for me. I can go research something else. Those boundaries. I think I'm going to have to feel my way through with the opportunities that come up.
Whitney Joy
[00.22.59]
But I feel pretty confident that I can do that.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.23.01]
I think, where does the, uh, the line between surrender? Because surrender and trust are like some of the backbones that every human is working through as they go towards achievement. And where does where is the line or where's the grey zone? In essence, for for you of where surrender comes into play and detachment versus, um, acquiescence and apathy toward the the
Whitney Joy
[00.23.28]
goal? Well, I think it's a balance because surrender. Yes. We have to trust ourselves, the universe. We have to let go. However, it's a balance of action. Know yourself. Do something about it. Show up for your life that sometimes people forget. You know I'm not. If I'm sitting here meditating at home and I want this to be made into a movie and I don't do anything about it, it's not going to happen. We have to remember that we co-create with the universe. Things just don't manifest out of thin air. Are we? Do our thoughts control things? Absolutely. But we have to take action. So it is that balance of trusting, having high expectation without attachment, like you said, and surrendering to the fact that the universe is operating for our highest good. However, we're also part of this. We're a partner here. Take action. Learn. Hone your craft. Meet that person. Be a good person. Keep showing up. I think that
Kimberly Spencer
[00.24.24]
that is such a powerful lesson in the law of action where we like. Because so often it's like, I want this, and there's all these would like. So I'd like to be on more shows, I'd like more visibility. I'd like this, but are are you posting? Are you asking for people to share your episode? Are you inviting people to sign up for your email list if you're not doing these? Are you pitching to podcasts or are you working with someone that is helping you pitch to podcasts like us? Like being able to say, are you taking those aligned action steps? Not just like, give me more visibility because I deserve it?
Whitney Joy
[00.25.00]
Yes, yes, well, you hit it. It needs to be aligned. And then also, if we keep coming up against roadblocks, we have to have the humility to step back and say, what did I get wrong? Or what isn't working? Because it shouldn't be that hard if it's in flow. If it's meant to be, there is open channels of energy to make it happen. So if we're beating our head against the wall, maybe it's for a reason. We need to step back and readjust. Change course. Learn.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.25.27]
So I know you're a trained hypnotherapist. And so and that was a huge part of your like the, the final piece of your book. So I'm not giving too many spoilers away. But in that space, where do our subconscious blockages and our own limiting beliefs come up that dam up the potential flow for that which we say we want?
Whitney Joy
[00.25.48]
Well, subconscious is the bigger muscle, you know? Yes, it controls things like breathing, our heartbeats, everything. But it also radiates a frequency of truth. Our conscious, our brain is what we think we want, but our subconscious is the bigger muscle. And if those aren't in alignment, if you're not in coherence, your subconscious will attract what it needs to evolve, what it needs to give you, what you're truly craving.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.26.15]
And we either get what we want or we get the lessons that we need.
Whitney Joy
[00.26.18]
Yes, exactly. That's
Kimberly Spencer
[00.26.19]
what we really want.
Whitney Joy
[00.26.21]
Exactly. And sometimes it's messy business. But again, it comes back to being human. It is not meant to be perfect. We're meant to change. And it's supposed to be fun, but you can't have fun without pain. And unfortunately, that's that's the way it works. Yeah. So in this dance between fun and pain and the growing pains of life and your own visibility, where have you encountered your own resistance? I know for me, I get resistance. Especially if it's like putting a spotlight more on my kids rather than on like, my experience as a mother. There are certain things that I don't share about my children online, on podcasts and public just because it's their private experience, and I don't want their like they're in relationship to me, obviously, but not that's one of my boundaries. But where are your like?
Kimberly Spencer
[00.27.10]
Bumps that you've you've come up against as you've like started to put yourself out there more.
Whitney Joy
[00.27.17]
My children, that's absolutely a boundary because also my book, my messages. What I would like to talk about has nothing to do with children. Are they part of my life? Absolutely. Are they a part of my learning? Yes. And they'll they'll be included. But it's not about them. And I completely agree with what you said. I want to respect their privacy. They're their own person. They're not just an accessory of mine that I can use to get more likes. Also, there's so much in life that we don't talk about and it's okay to keep things private. I am trying to challenge myself to be vulnerable and open, but also give myself permission to keep what's meant to be private, private, and even in the book. Is it a tell all? Absolutely not. I go through a heartbreaking divorce in the book. Do I tell everything that happened? Absolutely not. I think to myself, what serves, what serves the reader, what serves the messages that I'm here to support and what's drama or what's attention. And I try and feel my way through that to separate and to respect my boundaries, to and to give myself that permission to still be a private person, even though I'm choosing to share.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.28.22]
I think that is such a beautiful boundary, especially that a lot of women struggle with is and for all the recovering people pleasers, because there is. A, um, a desire that I actually don't think it's a people pleasing thing. I think it's just a level of respect for somebody else's privacy when it's not their their story, it's not their visibility, being able to dance that line of wear. Where does sharing your story stop and go into that space? I love what you said about drawing, like going to like self-serving drama. In essence, instead of honoring the message that needs to be shared
Whitney Joy
[00.29.03]
or people wanting to sit in the victim role or the winner role, because a lot of times we point fingers if we want to be seen as a victim, or the winner could be on either side of situations, but that isn't it's not what I'm choosing to try and do.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.29.18]
So what are you choosing to try to do?
Whitney Joy
[00.29.21]
Tell the story that serves the open? Tell my side of the story, how I evolved with the information that supports that message. Like I said, not not everything. I think
Kimberly Spencer
[00.29.31]
one of the best things that I love about your book, Whitney, and just you as a person in general, is so often people, especially women, come up against the question of like, why me? Why this book? Like, who am I to write this? Who am I to put myself out there? Aren't there enough authors already out there? Like there's already Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle? And your book very much echoes, like with. A tone and ethos similar, but you got your own voice. So what made you have the audacity? And I say that with a smile, um, to just go for it and put this book out there and release it to the world and say, I, I am choosing for this book to serve absolutely
Whitney Joy
[00.30.15]
went through imposter syndrome, and I can't do this, and I shouldn't do this, and everybody does it better and all of those. But then I was really reminded of way back before we had the internet, before we had airplanes, before we had anything. Societies evolved through story, myths, legends, tales that everybody would share. That's how we educated ourselves. That's how we learned about each other. That's how we connected even multi-generational stories. And I was really reconnected with the importance of story and the fact that everybody has one. Everybody. And if I truly feel your story deserves to be shared, their story deserves to be shared, well, then why not my story? And that's how I was able to kind of get out of my own way to be like, I truly believe every story deserves a voice, and if mine can impact anybody in a positive way, it's meant to be shared.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.31.05]
Mhm. So true. And especially the writing journey of going through that resistance. I love how Steven Pressfield calls it in the The War of Art. The resistance is that, that challenge that you will meet every day. And so in your writing journey, what was the most difficult resistance that you faced and what was the most viable excuse that you that you came up against? I know mine when I was writing my book, it was my business. It was like, oh, I need to focus on client delivery. I need to focus on generating sales. Like that was always the default that for that cause for eight years, three half written books in my Scrivener folder to be remain half written. But what was, what were those main excuses for you that you got to face and the resistance in the form,
Whitney Joy
[00.31.54]
you know, children. My main resistance was I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have energy. The laundry list of things that come with having newborns. And I have two under two right now. You can always use time as your excuse and energy, and I really had to get out of my own way to feel through. Is this a priority? Is this meant to happen? Then you need to give yourself the time you need to block it off. Arrange childcare. Talk to your husband. Figure this out because it's just as important as the other things going on. So that was really my big resistance. And then the other one was. Knowing how to do it. And that's when I started calling help. That's when I started researching for people to hold me accountable, my coach to get on calls, make sure that I do it. Have deadlines. I'm a very good person under pressure. I was director of Global events and have produced big events, small events, executive events, everything you can think of all over the world. And I'm very good under pressure. So writing for me, if I have a deadline, that is very helpful because I want new, well, I want to achieve it, but it also makes me sit down and get shit done. One
Kimberly Spencer
[00.33.01]
of the challenges that I've seen with a lot of entrepreneurs and writers and authors is the self-imposed deadlines of those, you know, oh, it's a deadline, but it's one that you know that you've created yourself. That's technically arbitrary. How did you bypass that, that bias of like a deadline that you created, that technically you could if you needed to extend it? Maybe. One. Just a couple of weeks.
Whitney Joy
[00.33.32]
I've definitely done that. I've been like, hey, this is my deadline. And the nanny quit last week and I have no coverage. I'm like, that deadline is not being hit. Let's get a new one. There's just some things I can't force, and when it is self-imposed, I've given myself grace with that. Just because I'm like, then it's not meant to be. Guess what? I needed to learn something else that needed to go in the book then, and I kind of step back to that surrender phase again to be like, there's something I'm missing. And often I'll take a note on my phone that was like, that was just a light code that came through. That one line needs to be in the book. Thank goodness I didn't finish that draft yet. I can go put that in there. And I've tried to find a gratitude for the bumps in the road, but I'm going to make it also because I'm ready for the next chapter. I'm ready for the book to be written. I'm ready for the book to be out. I'm ready then to go on to the journey that is after it. So even though it's self-imposed, my motivation is the fact that what's coming after is what I'm excited for. I'm ready to be done writing it and reliving it and move past it. Um,
Kimberly Spencer
[00.34.34]
as. As a fellow author, I completely understand that moment. And also the pressure. Like, leading up to it. I think we finished our complete. Like, everything is complete five days before the actual deadline. Um, and I was like, this is non-negotiable because I needed the book to come out on International Podcast Day. That was just it was non-negotiable for me. And there are certain non-negotiables that that we come up against. And we make that resolve that no matter what this is happening and there is that resistance that can pop up and that can come up. But it's that no matter what mentality that I just so deeply admire in you, and that grace with the excuses along the way that are like the most adorable excuses ever called children, because they're also who we create for and part of legacy. And like for me, I wrote the the I took up vacation very much like you and took four days just to write. And I said, I'm going to finish done. And I didn't finish. I had an extra weekend that I had to go and and finish that final chapter, but I gave myself the grace of extending the deadline and saying, okay, then by Monday, then and then I'm going to take the weekend and complete this so it can get
Whitney Joy
[00.35.51]
complete. That's such a great point because again, as a first time author, I don't know how long it's going to take me. I don't know, like even right now, my editor is going to give me the book back and she's like, how long do you want to read it through until it's done? I'm like, I don't know, a couple days depending if I have child care. But again, like, I don't know, I'm figuring this out. We're winging it, Kimberly, but we're making it happen because with that grace, we also have a backbone. And that's the balance that we talked about before. How we need to create our lives is you have to have discernment to know when you draw a line in the sand and when you respect it, whether it's for yourself or somebody else. But we have to do that as much as we can go and smooth out the sand if we need to. We also have to have that line.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.36.33]
How much of writing, publishing, beginning a journey of visibility? How much, how how related is it to skydiving? Like what are the similar experiences? Is it the
Whitney Joy
[00.36.46]
same thing? At least for me. Skydiving for me is meditative. Contrary to popular opinion, I get really calm as the Cessna like circles up and you're getting up to 10,000ft. I really get quiet because I'm attached for the ride. Unlike everything else in my life where I'm usually in the driver's seat when I'm skydiving, I'm not in control. I completely trust somebody else not to kill us. And that's. And that's great. I mean, because I can just relax. There's nothing I can do right or wrong or to change faith. I'm along for the ride. So for me, it's meditative. And then when you jump, it's just for me, euphoric. An explosion of feeling of whatever needed to come up, which has been different every time I've jumped. Just. Just like ayahuasca journeys. Different every time you jump. But for me, writing the book. Has been kind of the. Well, I guess I can see the parallel that you were saying, but I've had to do a lot of the work leading up to it that hasn't been meditative, but once you jump, once it's published, I'm looking forward to that parachute moment of emotion. I'm looking forward to the float that comes afterwards, even though I know I'll be hustling and very active. But I'm looking forward to the float, and that'll be a really cool thing to reflect on.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.38.00]
Amazing, amazing. Whitney, I am so excited about this book coming out. Like I said, y'all, I've had an early copy and it is extraordinary the journey. Honestly, it mirrors greats like Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle, and I look forward to seeing this book and all the subsequent books that I am sure to be coming out of you being released into the world. Where do we find this book? How do we get our hands on this? How can we stay updated on not only the book, but also on your journey of visibility?
Whitney Joy
[00.38.34]
The single source of truth is Whitney Joy comm. You can go to my website. There will be a page on podcast so you can listen to this one, as well as other ones that I'll be recording. You can sign up for the newsletter. You can stay updated on all things book launch and events that come with it.
Kimberly Spencer
[00.38.50]
Amazing. And that's the second question that you'll always be asked is where? Like, where do we find you? How do we work with you? And you did such a great job of directing people to one single source. I always say that on podcast interviews you want one tops, two places to go. So one place that is, you know, here's the sign up and then the other one where it's like, here's a community. Because ultimately what you're building with a book is you're building a discussion and a conversation, not just with social media, but with the opportunity for your readers to engage with you, with each other, and to learn in collaboration. And I'm so excited to watch all of it explode and grow as that parachute moment
Whitney Joy
[00.39.35]
happens. Join me for the ride. And like you said, this is about community. It's about conversation. And something that I really want to hear from you about is what's your blank page moment? You can read about mine in the book in seven blank pages, but I want to hear from you. What's your blank page moment?
Kimberly Spencer
[00.39.50]
Go to Whitney Joy comm. Definitely get on the waiting list for this book. You are going to want it in your hands. It is amazing. It is such a joyous ride to not only enjoy on a plane, as I have to enjoy while drinking a glass of wine or over your morning coffee. It is personal development without beating you over the head with personal development. That's why I love when when things are written in memoir or fiction. Because your subconscious mind can gather lessons that aren't telling you what the lesson should be. And that's how Whitney Joy just beautifully writes it. So go to enjoy. And as always, my fellow sovereigns, let your voice be heard. Queen, if what you just heard stirred something in you, if you are imagining how your voice, your story, your genius could be positioned with the same clarity and magnetism. Then it's time. Book your visibility consultation with me today. I will guide you personally through a seven step communication queen strategy, personalized connections to podcasts that need your voice, and an implementation plan that makes you uninsurable. But this isn't for everyone. It's for the visionary who is ready to be seen. If that is you. Click the link in the description to book your visibility consultation now. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, subscribe! Leave us a review and share it with your friends. For more tips on guest podcasting, storytelling and communication strategies. Follow us on social media at Communication Queens Agency and visit us at Communication queens.com. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. And in the meantime, remember your story has the power to save one life. Let your story and your voice be heard.
