Aria Leighty - Podcast Interview
Summary
Aria Craig is an intentional networker who specializes in helping women, especially women of color, queer folk, and disrupters, build and nurture long-term, mutually beneficial relationships. Her definition of intentional networking is "showing up as you and connecting with your ideal people." Aria says that 80% of success is just showing up--and that's the hardest part for many people due to social conditioning that tells women to be good, quiet, and pretty. However, just showing up Lisa Del La Cruz, Visibility Strategist, talk and explain on the importance of networking, community building, and visibility in building a successful business. She emphasized on intentional networking and building relationships, where value-oriented strategies are more important than vanity metrics in creating a strong network. She also explains the importance of aligning values with the platforms and opportunities we choose. In terms of intentionality, she advises on assessing our intentions and actions to be in alignment with our desired impact and how we want to be The difference between a community and an audience is that when you speak to an audience, you are speaking to them from a stage, while when you are part of a community, you are speaking with people and building relationships with them. Networking is about creating these relationships with intention, rather than just consuming content and trying to sell yourself. It is important to approach social media and other networking opportunities with the goal of connecting with others and building relationships, rather than just getting your next client. This may take text Community building is a crucial aspect of creating a thriving business. It involves intentional relationships and connections, rather than just amassing an audience or seeking fame. For those who may not have a natural inclination towards community building, it is important to realize that it is not a weakness to seek out or rely on others to help in this process. It is also important to recognize that individualism can be detrimental, and that we are pack animals who need connection and shared resources to thrive. Building community requires:Giving a shit and listening makes you the richest person in the room. In this episode of Communication Queens, the host, Kimberly, interviews networking queen, Aria, about the importance of showing up and giving a shit in networking. Aria shares her three golden principles - listen, care and follow through. She stresses the importance of genuinely caring about others instead of just focusing on oneself. The host and guest also discuss the power of intentional networking and connecting with people who genuinely support and cheer for
Transcription
I was like, oh my God, I'm not going to fit into this room, you know? But that magnetized us to each other for us to be able to find each other quicker because we didn't put on the mask, we didn't put on the costume, we didn't put on the like the suit in order to be quote unquote accepted when we get into those rooms. But really, you just get to show up as your frickin self. And it's it's amazing what that brings into your world. Before we dive in, let me tell you about the book that started a podcasting revolution. Make Every Podcast Want You. It is not just a bestseller, it is a two time gold medalist, baby. This book is your ultimate guide to landing dream podcast interviews, building authority authentically and making your voice the one they remember. If you've got a message and a mission, this is your mic drop moment. Grab your copy today in the link below and step into the spotlight that you were born for. Welcome to the Communication Queens podcast for the visionary leaders, speakers, service providers, and podcasters who are looking to stand out sharing their story. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, former screenwriter turned master communications coach. On this podcast, I'll be coaching you on how to share your own transformation story so that you increase your visibility, influence, and income on podcast interviews. Let's get your voice heard. Aria the networking Queen I am so honored to have you on the communication Queen podcast. There's no other better fitting human at this moment, for real. And I. I love right before this we were like the communication queen, networking queen, and then at the same time we're like, here to fuck shit up. So. Because that's that's one of my favorite quotes is from, uh, Woody Allen, who said 80% of success is just showing up. And what holds people back from just showing the fuck up? Oh, God. How much time do we have? Um, well, it's not really our fault, but, like, I mean, social conditioning. I work with women and women of color, queer folk. So we're talking about, like, generations of trauma, social conditioning, society wanting us, you know, women to be good girls, nice girls, quiet girls, like, seen and pretty, but not heard. Um, just so much shit. So, I mean, any time that we're showing up, even if it feels really small, even if it's just pushing posts on Instagram or attending the event like that is so freaking rebellious and revolutionary in itself. So, I mean, you gotta acknowledge that that's, you know, why it's so hard to show up, but then also be like, nah, we're doing this again. Also, when you just show up, like magic happens. Like, I remember my son, he did his first chess match and like he got I don't I knew the whole world of chess, but he got points because just some of the other kids didn't show up that day. And so he won by default just because he just showed up to the event. And it's such a testament to like, the power of showing the fuck up. Absolutely. Yes, 100%, I love that. Winning. Winning. Winning at life. Just show up 80% there. You're already there to your Oscar. Oh, I have to tell you, actually, a win of just showing up where we met. Pot fest. I remember specifically walking up. Um, like, got dropped off in front and I saw what I assumed to be dude bros. And I was like, what the hell? And I'm wearing, like, a fluffy tulle outfit and this pink thing. And I was like, what am I doing here? Where am I? I knew not one person in the room, and I saw you when I was grabbing my thing, and we made eye contact and I said, that's who I walked into this room for. Like I knew instantly, like you were wearing Betsey Johnson. So that's also an easy indicator when. But like, yeah, I won. Just by showing up. I was like, okay, if that's the only connection I make in this room. Like, that's who I just showed up for right now. Thank you. I received that 100%. And I completely agree because like attracts like and like you're one of the things that I, I love how my shoes have been like, the greatest networking business card ever. For real. I wish you could see my collection behind me, but they're like the best investment I've ever made in my business. And it really is like when you because they especially for an introvert like your wardrobe, you may be introverted from speaking to people or you, or there's always that awkward like you don't know what to say. And it's kind of like first day of first grade and you're like, I think I need to say hi to someone, but I'm like, not sure how to do this. When you have a statement piece or like significant wardrobe, like, I saw your tool and I was like, or she's gonna be my friend, my person, because you wreck it like those. There are certain outfit and qualities that you can wear to express who you are on the inside, that naturally invite people to communicate with you. Yes. And I, I think that goes back to the question that you're asking. What stops people from showing up is that we have this preconceived notion of what we have to look like in order to walk into those rooms, right? So like, even though I'm always usually the one that's like decked out in glitter and jewels and stuff like that, still, I was like, oh my God, I'm not going to fit into this room, you know? But that magnetized us to each other for us to be able to find each other quicker because we didn't put on the mask, we didn't put on the costume, we didn't put on like the suit in order to be quote unquote, like accepted when we get into those rooms. So I think that that is really like a testament to like, you think you can't show up authentically, you think you're going to have to put on this show or dress a certain way or be a certain way, or be. Quote unquote professional, which I hate that word. Um, but really, you just get to show up as your freaking self and it's it's amazing what that brings into your world. I love the fact that you said that you hate the word professional. I've learned to make friends with the word professional. I just had to redefine for myself because that the perception of professional is like this buttoned up corporate, stick up your ass sort of human. Yeah. And versus I believe it's professional to show up on time. And there's like principles of professionalism rather than a look or some sort of like perceived facade of what professionalism looks like. Okay, maybe I'll become friends with that. I have a podcast episode called professional. So me and professional are not friends right now. But that's a great that's a great way to look at it. So yes, when I mean, because a lot of people shy away from that working because they're scared of not being perceived as professional or they're scared of, you know, someone finding the imposter syndrome, being fully expressed, showing who they are. Yeah. How do people approach networking? Do they just like chuck the conditioning or like, hold on. Let me just let me just shut the fuck up. Or is it is there a process to like, start getting networking right for you? Yeah. Oh, there's a science. There's an art, baby. Um, so first things first. I think that before we go any further. Like, I like to define intentional networking as building and nurturing long term, mutually beneficial relationships. So you'll notice I didn't say sales. You know, notice it in say, marketing. We're not doing it like here's your elevator pitch. All that stuff. It's like we're building and we're nurturing relationships. So if you can walk into those opportunities, then with that mindset, then you're already going to be like in a better space, right? Like, you don't just sell yourself. You don't have to be anybody. We all know how to build relationships. We all know, just like you said on the playground, we all know how to, like, make that friend, right? Um, the other thing is like being authentic and showing up as who you are, but really being clear about where your people are at. Because when you're in a room full of your people, you don't have to be worrying about like, imposter syndrome. Another word I don't really like because you can't be an imposter of yourself. You just are. Yeah. Um, I'm not a fan of the whole imposter syndrome, a whole vocabulary. Anyways, I'm like, it's not a syndrome. It's called being new at something. Yeah, well, and it's also called like what the world said. You know how it should be. Yeah, right. Yeah. So you can't be an impostor yourself. You just show up as yourself. Um, so when you go in, like, really looking to nurture those relationships and build those relationships. Like, you can do that as a human when you're really showing up as a human. Um, I think one of the things that a lot of people get wrong about not working when they're popping into those spaces is that they're looking to network with their ideal clients. And again, that's sales and marketing. That's not not working in relationships. Right. Like we don't want to network with only who we want to sell to or like have buy from us. Right. We're looking for our ideal people. And once you can like, really narrow in on that, like we're going to be wearing Betty Johnson shoes, I say, fuck, I wear big ass hoops, you know what I mean? Like, we're going to, like, go get a drink afterwards. Like we're going to be the loudest ones in the room laughing. You know, like. And everyone's going to be like, who are those chicks, you know? Like, that's who my people are. I know that they're disrupters. I know that they care about social justice. I know that they speak up. I know that they talk their shit and back it up. Right. So, like, that's who I have in my mind when I want to, like, be connecting with people, not like the. Idea of like, okay, I have to get a couple clients, or I want people that want visibility, and that's so much easier to make that connection. Once you're, like, clear about who your ideal people are. And the best part is that your ideal people know your ideal clients. They're already working with them, right? Like you're already working with my ideal people. So you're going to like, make the referral for me, the introduction for me, so I don't even have to chase that shit. Like, this is just walking into a room, finding my people, showing up as a human and letting them fall in love with me and giving them a reason to remember me. Yeah. And being I love it. You said intentional networking and building relationships because I see this so often with with podcasting. This is like a huge part of our podcasting strategy as an agency. I'm like, it is not about the interview, it is about the relationship. And I think of podcasts like every podcast interview I tell my clients, like, think of it like a first date. It's opening the door to possibility for a further relationship. Now, will you go on some podcast interviews where you're like, yeah, I'm not going on another second date, that's for sure. Like, yes, you will have a couple of those from 10 to 10. But if you follow like a strategy which, which I teach in my book, make Every Podcast want you like, the strategy is geared so that you are positioning yourself on shows that have a values match for you? So you're not trying to, like, go jump into a room of, you know, 100 people and you have to kind of see maybe who has the values or who's wearing the Betsey Johnson. Right. Like, you can look at, like the words that are being used to create those intentional relationships, because podcasters can be one of the greatest assets for building intentional networking, because they are constantly speaking to more and more people. Yes. And I as a visibility strategist, that's something I talk about that like your visibility strategy begins and ends with intentional networking, like it's a full circle, intentional networking opportunity. And a lot of people aren't thinking like that. Like, I have had people where it's just like as many shows as you can, and then it's like, well, what did you bring to the person that allowed you on the show? Did you, you know, promote the show? Have you followed up? Did you send them a thank you? How do you like send them? Any other people? Like you have to continue to nurture that relationship. And like you said, so many people think it ends once you're like, okay, check. Been on the show. It's like night Stand. Yes. Yeah. We don't want a wham bam. Thank you. Ma'am. We are looking for we're looking for some commitment here. We're looking for just a little bit of commitment. It can be a polyamorous business relationship. You don't have to marry them. But the the experience of being able to build those relationships with care and quality, because I'm like, you're spending an hour of your time talking with the other person, that's an incredible amount of value. Mhm. Yeah. And you get to really find out like the things that like you match up on every time that I'm having a conversation, I'm like constantly thinking like, and I know you're the same way because I was like oh my God I finally met my match where it's like you say something and it's like, I know exactly who I need to connect you to. Like I'm always thinking like, how can I continue to, like, nurture this relationship? And it's just like second nature. It becomes like, you know, muscle memory for you to be like, I know who to connect you with. I know where to invite you. I know how to, like, keep this relationship going because you've had all of these little, like, touchpoints where you're like, I mean, even if it's an office reference and now you have somebody to send those memes to, you know what I mean? Like, that's nurturing the relationship right there. You send me unhinged Aries memes. Like. Like like Aries being like, the most, like, chaotic person ever. And I'm like, yeah, that's me. Thank you. Mercy me. Yes. Yep. I feel the Aries in you. I have Aries in my ninth chart of values. That's what's rolling in. And so I'm like, oh, I get why. My best friends in Aries. And I'm like, I'm attracted to Aries. Like, I'm like, bring out the fire. I can handle it. Hell yes. If you're listening to this interview thinking, I want to do that, I want to be on more podcasts. I want to share my brilliance with the world than I have got the service for. It is called Pod Match. Think of it like Bumble. But for podcasting, this AI powered platform matches you with the right podcast host so you can pitch less and get booked more. I've used it to land aligned interviews that amplified my voice and built my brand. It is literally one of the services I recommend in my bestselling award work. Make every podcast want you! Sign up now at Pod Match.com in the link below. So with visibility, how is visibility tied in with community building? I mean, community building is again where it begins and ends. Like it's all about like really creating that network of people around you. I think that visibility is like people have taken the vanity metrics of like social media and applied that to visibility and PR, where they're just like so obsessed with like the bigger show, or I want to be on this morning show or I want to be on this. And it's like, that's not even where your community is hanging out. Like, where can we get you to? Where you can tap into the community, you can provide the value and the resources. You can speak their language. Right. And you can make them fall in love with you. You can build that know like trust factor that is like where the magic happens. Right. Because I would rather put you in a room of five that are going to be obsessed with you and become like brand evangelists for you and your besties, and are going to speak the gospel of communication queens rather than worrying about like, oh, let's put you on a morning show. Like if I'm on a morning show and I've been on morning show, it's like they're gonna clutch their pearls when I start talking my shit, right? Like they're they're gonna, you know, I've gone on and I'm like, oh, maybe I should take my hoops up. Maybe I shouldn't wave my hands around. Maybe I shouldn't do all that. And it's like I'd rather just be on spaces and and platforms that are like, I know I'm going to get directly into my community. I know that I'm going to, like, speak what they need to hear. I know that I'm going to make an impact, and I know that they're going to be like wanting more from me and get tapped in. Mhm. 100%. Yeah. I've had I had a client ask like they were looking at working with us or working with a PR firm. And I was like, well you know I've been on many, many major shows, many, you know, major PR outlets. And I'm like, I can, I can not track a single dollar. And I guess those are harder to track. But like, I can track the dollars that I've made from podcast guest podcasting and being on other people's platform. Double of a lot. Words. End of the day. Because being on other people's platforms who have aligned values, where I can add value to that audience and and the values as an energetic, energetic thing, like actually are a match. Yeah. Versus like me going on, you know, the morning news or you know, CNBC and you know, I was on those but those didn't translate. They give credibility I think they're great as like social credibility builders especially as you want to get on bigger and bigger stages, whether that's bigger podcasts or like actual stages. But the where your brand is at, where your community is at, that's like that's where also the dollars are at to. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And I love that you made a note about the credibility builder too, because I always say, like those types of things are like it's better that you're showing your existing audience, like, look at me on the news. Look at me here. Because, you know, sometimes that's the last little bit of like, credibility or the last scene where they're like, okay, this girls who I want to work with, you know what I mean? So yes, absolutely. But like, I think so many people think like I've been on billboards and done all of these things and that has not brought me anything close to what, like, you know, not working into a space like, you know, being on this show is going to freaking Trump, like all of the other morning shows and billboards that I've, like, experienced in my life, because I know who your audience is. And I know, like, the power that you bring behind this conversation. Yeah. Thank you. And how they received that. Yeah. Thanks for having said, and I love the fact that you really brought in the concept of like the intentional piece. Right. So when. What are some pointers for like whether it's going into a podcast interview or going into just any sort of business relationship? Because sometimes I think that we don't translate what we do in the dating world or in like personal relationships and friendships into business friendships. It's like, no, this is a business, formal business relationship. I cannot send a mean. Um, I think the intentional part is like, actually, like trying to figure out what your intention is from that opportunity. And it's so simple. But, like, I know that a lot of people were like, oh, when they just heard that because it's like, how do you want to be remembered? What type of impact do you want to make? And are those intentions? Are they aligned with the actions that you're showcasing in that room or in that space? Right. So like you can get super clear on like I want to be audacious and I want to be, you know, I want to be a master connector. So every room I walk into, every opportunity, I am already thinking about how I'm going to like, plug people in because I'm very intentional about. That's how I want to be remembered. Um, and you'll notice that I said it's not like an intention of like how you should be perceived. Right? Because I want to be audacious. I want to be bold. I want to be somebody that, like, makes you shift your thinking. And I want to be like a very courageous thought leader. But for a long time, when I had my other business that I recently sold, I found myself showing up in spaces like how I thought I should be, and it was like a very slow and steady thing where it was like I was wanting to be like, okay, this is how a leader is perceived. This is how we behave. This is how we, you know, act in these rooms. And so that was an intentional like when I can go back and be like, no, I want people to be like, what the hell was that? Like, when I go through a room, I want to be, you know, a tornado and be like, Holy shit. And your life is going to be different from that experience, whether it was because I triggered you or I brought out your magic, or I started a good conversation. So that is how I have to walk into any space, whether that's podcast. Social media. I consider social media like I'm walking into a realm, right? Like when I open up Instagram, I'm stepping into a realm. And so I need to be really intentional about how I'm like creating those those conversations. That is so powerful to just use that visual for all y'all who start to scroll and get lost in the Instagram Facebook world of like, where's life? And how did I lose two hours of my life to this? It's because you weren't intentional walking in the door. Yes. Yeah. Creator. And not just a consumer. And I think that that's one of the things that that I'm sure you, you, you know, but I want the audience to really double down on is the fact that, like, you intentionally go in to create connection. Yes. And I think that that's a different intention than going in and just kind of like, oh, I'm, I'm here. And yeah, what maybe it's to consume the content, but it's like really get clarity. As one of our clients, Patrick Franci, who has a global top 100 podcast shout out to Patrick. So clarity equals speed. And like when you are clear on how you like, you were clear on how you wanted to show up at Todd Fest. And that equaled the speed of like, holy shit, magic in Pink and Johnson 30s. Like clarity equals speed when you understand. And going in and looking at if you're coming at these networking experiences, whether it's podcasting or any social media, and you're approaching it from a place of of like your clarity is that you need to get your next client. Well, you can, but is that how you want to be perceived as like someone who's like that needy person at the bar who's looking for their next girlfriend? I love that. Just desperate for anybody to buy them a drink. Or do you want to, like, go through that bar? Have a good time. Dance. Magnetize people to you. People forget that social media was meant to be social. It was built to tap us into social networks that we wouldn't have been able to have before. Right. Like that, we wouldn't have been able to, like, keep in contact with and like access to people on the other side of the world and rooms that we're never going to be able to, like, walk into. To meet those people, you know, and build those relationships. So like when I go in, it's rarely to create content. I don't love creating content, but it's like, okay, what are my people up to today? Like they're showing me a glimpse of like what's going on in their worlds. I get a chance to nurture by hyping it up, celebrating them, getting super excited, answering their poles on their stories like signing up for their things, sharing. So like that's that's the opportunity that I think is often missed. But again, it's an intentionality. I want to be remembered as a as a connector. And so I have to make sure that those actions are aligned with my intention so that I'm doing my job. Mhm. And I think that that's such a bold piece as well of being intentional of your social media, who you're consuming, who you're following, what you have in your feed and in your space especially, and not letting the algorithm just dictate it, but being able to intentionally create those spaces. Yes, yes, I love that. Yeah. Because you wouldn't stay in a room where everybody's making you feel like shit unless then and you're like, oh, I left that event feeling like I needed to lose £10 and make $10,000 in ten minutes from my toilet seat, because that's what this online coach is doing. You know what I mean? Like, I'm so behind you wouldn't want to stay in a room like that. So great. Urana. $10,000 toilet seat. Because that's I mean, that's what. That's why people are so disconnected from networking. It's because of this 2020, 2021 boom that came from. Like, you never have to work for a single dollar. All you have to do is do these things from these like pyramid coach, pyramid scheme coaches. And it's like everybody got into their heads where it's like, okay, now I just treat everybody like a lead. I stopped making human connections. Um, like there was this whole trend of, like, as little touch points as possible, like, people are paying me $20,000 and they get no one on one time. It's like, girl, yeah, it's not admirable or sustainable. But yeah, so that's what turned people off is like, they no longer want to put in the work to create a long game of, you know, and that's what networking is, is a long game. It's not instant gratification. I mean, it is for me because I've been doing it. It does get you there. You can really master it. Um, you know, I've been hired on the spot before, but, you know, it is a long game, but, you know, it's it's a really beautiful, long game that just continues to, like, pay out and, you know, like referrals in the inbox all day long because I've been really working on this, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And I think one of the, the objections that I hear in people's head, because I've heard it out of their mouths is but that takes so much time. I know and I know having built, you know, you've built a successful business, you've sold a successful business, I've built a few successful businesses, and I had a successful exit like it's. It takes time, but literally in the same amount of time that you like, blast everyone with. Like, here's to my post about how awesome I am. Get me on your podcast. If you sent two intentional emails to two targeted specific podcasters to get on, you actually would build a better, deeper, more amazing relationship and have better connections than then just blast this this concept of like just I wish I knew how to describe it. It's like mediocre production. It's like, I don't I don't even know how to put a label to it because it's like, oh, I'm just gonna blast this stuff out and let me just like copy paste, copy paste, copy paste, copy paste. Yeah. And put that all over the group so that people bring me on to their shows and bring me on to their stages. And I'm like, yeah, no, doesn't really work. Yeah. And I mean, you could also use that time to like, nurture your existing relationships. I bet that there is like a goldmine of people that you haven't even, like, checked in on. When's the last time that you provided value to them? When's the last time that you saw how you could show up for them? Like, when's the last time that you've been speaking their names in rooms of opportunities, you know, and if people are saying like, oh, it takes like a long time, but like it's going to outlive every algorithm, every marketing trends, every like thing that's out there. Networking and relationship building outlives it. It doesn't go away. You know, when like, social media platforms cease to exist, which they, you know, have like they died out. Facebook is dying out. Instagram's next like you, if you haven't been putting in that work and you put all your eggs in these different baskets because you thought it was going to be this, like, you know, quick return, then now you're kind of screwed and you have to start all over again. And for people that have sold multiple businesses and done multiple things, like us, I've carried my network from the past almost two decades, from corporate to owning brick and mortars to having the business that I sold to being a visibility strategist. If you are only like worrying about these, you know, Instagram algorithms or marketing or your quick pitches, you're going to have to start over every single time. And that's way more work than just creating a long term network of people that it's like, okay, this is what you're doing now, got, you know, where to plug you in. I'm showing up. I'll be at the grand opening. You know what I mean? Like, okay. Shit, I love me. It's all me there. I've been talking about it. That's. I mean, and that's the part. Like, I have had clients from my Pilates business, which I started when I was 19 years old. So that's 20 almost 20 years. And I've had clients come into my coaching programs and come into our agency that I'm like. It's just it repeats the cycle like, you can. People will follow you because people buy from people that they know, like and trust you. They don't build that without a relationship. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And everyone knows different Pilates studios. Everybody knows different coaches. Everyone know I know so many people that have podcast agencies. Right. Like the loyalty is within you. And that's like the that's why we're not walking into networking rooms thinking with our sales and marketing hat on. We're thinking about like building this web of people, human to human connections. You never know where somebody is going to be three years, five years from now. You never know who somebody knows. And if you're just speaking the name of the Pilates studio, every name that you go, every room that you go into, then when you don't have it, then they're like, oh, okay, well, then I'll just go to the next Pilates studio, because I heard so much about how good Pilates is and like how I need it and how hard I'm going to be. Right. Like, that's all you did was just speak the gospel of that current season in that era. Yeah, yeah. And I think that and I've seen it in every industry with, you know, as all the way to famous actors that I've worked with and in different industries, like where they've transitioned from like doing acting into, like launching a comic book and to like launch like that experience of into launching a platform like those people will translate over. But it does. People translate over because. You've built the relationship and same with I would love for you to speak into the relationship. What is the difference between the difference between like community and having those thousand first raising raving fans? Mhm. Um, well yeah. The difference between like a community and then what you're talking about is like an audience, right. Um, and so I think like the difference between a community and an audience is like, for one, when you are speaking to an audience, you're on a stage, you're speaking to them. When you're having a community, you are with the people and you're speaking with them. Right. It's not at them. You're actually like connecting, taking in, building those like, relationships. Anybody can like, have an audience. Anybody can have their 15 minutes of fame and go and do their thing. But then when the curtain is closed, like, what are you left with? Right. Like you, you want to have those, like, relationships or it's like, uh, I would follow you to like the ends of the earth. And you make that by being in the space, having community, having actual conversations, speaking with your people, you know, making them feel comfortable. How do you build community when it's not something that's natural to you? Because I know a lot of people who they are the doers. They are the the project managers. They are they are the artists of their own. Right. But they're artists independently. And so they don't see the artistry that comes with building community. How do you do it when it's not your natural skill set? What's what's a process or a tip that that could guide people? Yeah, I think that we've really been fed this idea that we have to do everything by ourselves and that that's what success looks like. So I think that if you can first just like get out of that mindset and know that it's not a weakness to want to surround yourself with people. Um, if you're not a natural leader in that capacity, it is completely okay for you to say. I need to be in a space or somebody is doing this for me, like, this is what I'm looking for. Who can, like, lead me into these different spaces? You know, for us it comes very naturally. And we want to, like, bring people together. Um, but I think that it's okay to know your role. There is a there's a role that is so perfect for you in your community. And if you are somebody that is like a doer or somebody that is like very like action oriented, like there's going to be a space for you. You just need to like, open your heart up to the idea that there can be other people involved and then, you know, seek it out, seek out spaces that are already existing. I see a lot of people that want to, like, build what they call communities or build these like memberships and stuff like that. And that's not everybody's role, and it's usually not very intentional. Um, it's okay for you to walk into spaces that are already curated for you and then do your job as a part of the collective by bringing other people into the space. I think that that's often missed out when we're like members of a community. Any new community that I walk into, I'm trying to bring more aligned people to it, like to serve the person that's brave enough to to start the community in the first place and to keep them sustainable. Um, and to do my to do my job and to not keep these beautiful resources from people that desperately need them. One of my favorite ways of building my business has been guesting on other people's podcasts. Guesting on other people's podcasts allows me to stand in my zone of genius, sharing my story, serving through the strategies that I'm able to share on those podcasts to other people's audience. By going on other people's podcasts. It allows those audiences to come over to my audience if they like and resonate with my work, allowing me to make more impact and more income. One of the tools I've loved using both as a podcaster and to get on other people's podcasts is podcast. Com podcast. Com is a member directory that connects podcasters who are actively looking for guests right now with potential guests. Many of the guests that you've heard on The Princess of the bee have been found through podcast guests. Podcast guests will send you a weekly email for just $15 a month, with podcasters who are actively looking for guests right now. So all you have to do is select the podcasts that talk about topics that are relative to your topics that you speak on for your business. Submit and voila! Podcasters will be reaching out to you. So if you're wanting to get booked on more podcasts and create a streamlined, fun way to generate clients leads and to make both income and impact, I highly recommend podcast guests. Click the link below to join for just $15 a month. And now back to the episode. For the action oriented, the doers of the world. It's opening up your heart. And I think this next era that we're kind of moving into, like heart openness, yes, is so necessary in opening up community and really diving in both on a local level and on like an international level. Yeah, individualism is killing us and it's created so many terrible things. And we've really gotten away from like that concept of like, we do need our tribes and our and our communities to survive. Like that is how we are pack animals, you know, like we need those types of things and we need those different resources. And maybe you feel like you're totally rocking it on your own, but there's there's something that's suffering or being, you know, like costing you in that situation. And they the systems that be the governments, everything else have worked very, very hard to separate us and to keep us separated and to not keep us, you know, and communication and to make sure that we're constantly, you know, like complaining against each other. Yeah. Instead of, like, working together. This is exactly what they want. And you can see it at every freaking level, right. Like, you can see it in, you know, race. You can see it in like, economic status. You can see that like, certain people are, you know, villain ized. And it's because, like, they know that we're powerful together. And like, like you said, this era like we are going to need community and collective and, you know, shared resources more than ever and the coming years. And so, yes, it's a it's something that's going to bring your business money. But like, literally like our livelihoods are about to be dependent on being able to have this human connection. Mhm. And I, I, I couldn't agree with you more. Like I just, I feel that the community aspect, it's like it's not just that you know, it's not just your circle online and it's, it's really about developing those quality relationships. From a place of full ownership and full responsibility, where you're like bringing from surplus, not from scarcity, where you are in like when you enter into a room like it's to give and to serve and you we only enter into those rooms to give and to serve when we know that there's more than enough. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah. And it's it goes back to like, that intentionality, you know, like community building, like true community building can feel inconvenient in a world that we have been, like, conditioned to want, like instant gratification. Right? Like when we're building community, like we need to be intentional about every single thing, about how we're moving through the world, how we're spending our dollars. Like, if you want to be a part of this community, then the money that you're spending should be with the people that are in your community, right? Like the it should be like a very cycled economy. That was one of the things that I was like, excellent at the business that I sold before is we built a micro economy that passed millions and millions of dollars in referrals. And when 2020 happened and everyone's businesses were closing, we were all thriving because we had already had this existing mindset of supporting each other, supporting local, not being willing to pay a little bit more, being willing to, you know, not get instant gratification of like next day shipping from Amazon. You're going to have to pay the 695 and wait the for 5 to 7 days. But like that's community. Is that intention of like how we're spending our time, our energy, our dollars to like build, build what we want to see in the world. Yeah. And uplifting each other. Yeah. Just fast. Yeah. And not just with words. Not just been like go girl, but like, I see what you're doing. It needs to live in the world. Allow me to invest in it in some way. You know, financially speaking about it and making the introduction that's going to be the right opportunity for you. You know, like that's that's how we build community is through those actions. How did you cultivate that mindset? Was that innate or was that developed over time or was that consciously created after leaving corporate? Um, it's innate. It's all it's always been in me. It's always been this, like super power of mine. And I think that, like, I've always downplayed it or, you know, the things that come naturally to us are the things that we are like, yeah, that's not valuable. Um, but it's definitely something that once I tapped into that magic and power that I was like, oh, look what I found. Look what I can do. And like, just like, you know, went all in on that thing and constantly reminded myself that that it's like a value. But even in corporate, when I was 19, like I specifically remember being a recruiter talking to this guy, everybody that was much older than me, our age now. But I was like, wow, these women are so old and out of touch. Women are all, um. They were saying like, oh, you know, that's not valuable. That's not a valuable connection. The, you know, the, the company that he's the CEO of is never going to scale. It's never going to have like the billion dollars that we want. But he asked me to follow up with him in three months. Um, he told me, you know, about like, his vacation he was going on and all of that stuff. So when I followed up with him, I remembered that I asked him how his vacation was. It was his dream vacation. And he was like, I can't believe that you remember it. And I can't believe that you followed up with me and like, saw value in this. I have my best friend just become CEO of this startup tech company. He needs his entire C-suite and like entire accounting and IT firm. And I brought in the largest contract that we had had ever to that point. And I mean, like triple what we had been doing. And everyone's like, how how did you do that? And it's like, I listened. I gave a shit. Like, it's actually very simple. And I didn't read your stupid ass scripts that you gave me that are like, laminated on my desk. I just it's amazing. But I just, like, cared about this person. He told me to do something, and I followed through on that action and. Oh, yes. Yes. And that's I mean, it's it's the touch point. It's showing up. It's the follow through and showing up for the follow through as well. Yeah. And I love that you just pointed out that it's about giving a shit and listening. I was just on um. I just had Trevor, who's the host of the Who you Know, show. It's all about, like, intentional networking. Yeah. And he's amazing. Great connection for you all connected later because I think that that would be amazing. Bomb sounds fun, people. He's that easy. Easy. And it was because, like, when he came on initially and he shared this on the podcast. Like I said, is there anything that you're looking to promote? Because as I told him when the episode was releasing and he was like, oh my gosh, within just a couple seconds, you already added value because he wanted to have a course that was in compliance and that I said, oh, do you know Tom from the Compliance Network podcast? He's like, there's a compliance network of podcasts. And I was like, yes. And I just I made that initial connection, but it came from listening and it came from giving a shit about somebody else. Right. And you go in with those three principles of, you, listen, give a shit and show up your golden, your fucking golden. You're like so abundant. It's ridiculous. Like. Please. Oh my God. Richest person in the room for sure. Literally put that on a post-it note. Show the fuck up. Listen. No. None of a shit. Yes. Maybe add follow up. Yeah. Give a shit about somebody else besides yourself. It's crazy, but that can do. Yeah, yeah. It's exponential. Yeah. So, Aria, I have loved our conversation as I love every conversation with you. Obsessed. Absolutely. And I know that you are putting out some big things in the world in upcoming months, so plug yourself on which show the fuck up is doing for this world. Oh, shit. Okay, um, well. Plug myself. I actually have an offer that's called the plug. It's completely free. If you want to talk about opening up my Rolodex and my freaking network like you, plug into the plug for free every month, I give you the top people that are looking for podcast guests, for speakers, for their events, the best networking events to go to, the best conferences. Like literally, it's like having a visibility strategist in your pocket 100% free. Um, it was just something that I was like, called to do because I was like, tired of getting the same people over and over on the stages. Let's get some new perspectives and open the. Shut up. Um, there's the club, which is the ultimate community. If you do want to show the fuck up with people that are all about reciprocity and referrals and goodness and all of that. And you can also get my course called networking Queen, and it's going to make you a networking queen just like me. I'm so freaking stoked about where it's it's really a revamp of a lot of my different programs, but like literally it's going to be the best investment that you've made besides any of Kim's Kimberly's programs from Communications Queens. Oh, got like, yeah, it's gonna it's gonna make you into a networking queen and change the way that you walk into the realms forever. Amen. Amazing. Aria, you are just so phenomenal at making those connections. And I hope you all notice, like Aria and myself, like, we love hyping each other up. And that's not like to, like, blow smoke up each other's ass. Like we genuinely think the other human is like fucking phenomenal. And so when you fight with those people, like, allow yourself to allow yourself to fangirl, like honestly allow yourself to fangirl over more, more humans than what they're doing in the world. People need cheerleaders right now like they need champions. They need cheerleaders who are saying, I see you. I see the value that you bring. Thank you so much for what you do in this world. I honor you and I am so grateful, Aria, that you are doing that in this world as well. And like I see you and I see the value that you're adding to so many marginalized communities and helping them really step up and share their voice and their stories. And I so deeply respect that. Thank you. I love you so much. I love you so much. As always, communication queens stand out and be heard well. Oh Queen, if what you just heard stirred something in you. If you are imagining how your voice, your story, your genius could be positioned with the same clarity and magnetism, then it's time to book your visibility consultation with me. Today I will guide you personally through a seven step communication queen strategy, personalized connections to podcasts that need your voice, and an implementation plan that makes you un ignorable. But this isn't for everyone. It's for the visionary who is ready to be seen. If that is you. Click the link in the description to book your visibility consultation now. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, subscribe! Leave us a review and share it with your friends. For more tips on guest podcasting, storytelling and communication strategies, follow us on social media at Communication Queens Agency and visit us at Communication queens.com. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. And in the meantime, remember your story has the power to save one life. Let your story and your voice be heard.
