Enjoy this episode & transcript below where Kimberly Spencer, Master NLP Mindset & Communications Coach and CEO of Communication Queens, interviews eight-figure entrepreneur, international speaker, and queen of lifestyle-first leadership, Patty Farmer.

Are you building your dream — or someone else’s? 💭 In this powerhouse episode, Kimberly sits down with marketing legend Patty Farmer to talk about designing a business that actually supports the lifestyle you crave. From CEO mindset shifts to lifestyle-first strategy, this is your permission slip to stop overworking and start thriving.

FYI Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 30-minutes, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

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“Build the Business That Loves You Back” with Patty Farmer on Lifestyle Leadership

Intro (summary)
In this Communication Queens episode, host Kimberly Spencer sits down with marketing maven Patty Farmer to talk about what it really means to build a lifestyle-first business. Patty’s philosophy flips the old hustle script — it’s not about scaling harder, it’s about designing a business that feeds your soul and funds the life you actually want. This conversation explores lifestyle leadership, reciprocity, and how joy—not exhaustion—is the new measure of success.

[00:00] Getting Clear on What You Want Your Life to Look Like

Patty Farmer:
I think a lot of times people think everybody wants to have a yacht, take ten vacations a year, make a million dollars — but that’s not true. Everybody has their own idea of what that lifestyle is.
So what makes me different is that’s the first thing I want to know: What is the lifestyle that you want to lead?
I’ll help you build a business that supports that — but we’ve got to get clear on it first.

Bold Takeaway: A lifestyle-first business starts by defining your life before defining your offer.

[00:02:00] The Lifestyle-First Leadership Philosophy

Kimberly Spencer:
When I met you, I loved how you talked about marketing differently — like, this isn’t “bro marketing.” It’s heart-centered and relational.

Patty Farmer:
Exactly! It’s always about relationships.
In marketing, people start with “target market,” but I care about target buyers — the ones actively looking for what you do.
But even more than that, it starts with lifestyle.
You didn’t become a CEO to put out fires all day.
So many entrepreneurs are stuck firefighting because their marketing doesn’t fit their desired life.
For me, it all begins with lifestyle — what brings you joy, what feeds your soul.

[00:05:00] Designing a Lifestyle-First Business

Kimberly Spencer:
You have these beautiful luxury experiences for clients. How do you integrate your own lifestyle into your business?

Patty Farmer:
You’ve got to start by knowing what kind of life you want.
Sometimes people don’t even dream because they think they can’t have it.
It’s like engagement rings — when someone says they want a small diamond, it’s often because they think that’s all they can afford or deserve.
The same goes for business.
If you dream small, you’ll build small.
Define your “rock,” get past what you think you deserve, and then build your business around what you actually want.

Bold Takeaway: Dream in alignment with your worth — not your limits.

[00:07:30] From Busy to Brilliant: Doing Less to Get More

Kimberly Spencer:
A lot of entrepreneurs say, “But I’m doing everything already!” How do they know what’s actually needed?

Patty Farmer:
Look at your results.
If you’re doing all the things and not getting results, something has to change.
You don’t need to do more — you need to do it differently.
Work in your brilliance and hire others to work in theirs.
Any good coach has a coach — sometimes several!
It’s not about hustle; it’s about clarity and measurement.

Bold Takeaway: Lifestyle leadership is about smart strategy, not endless activity.

[00:09:30] Stepping Into Your CEO Mindset

Patty Farmer:
In startup mode, you have more time than money. That’s when you build foundations — they’re not sexy, but they matter.
You must step into a CEO mindset early.
Own your calendar. Own your boundaries.
If someone walks into your office mid-call, don’t stop for them.
That’s scarcity behavior — not CEO energy.

Bold Takeaway: Boundaries are the backbone of lifestyle-first business.

Scaling, Legacy, and Leading with Lifestyle Leadership

[10:00] The Three Stages of a Lifestyle-First Business

Kimberly Spencer:
Before we started recording, you mentioned how different stages of business require different questions. What are those stages and what should we be asking ourselves at each one?

Patty Farmer:
There are three main stages: startup, scaling, and legacy.

When you’re in startup, you usually have more time than money. You’re passionate, but you haven’t built all the fundamentals yet. You’re thinking about who you want to serve and what you want to do — but you’ve got to get the foundation right.

Those foundational pieces aren’t sexy, but if you skip them, you’ll have to go back later when things stop working.

When you’re in scaling, it’s not about money anymore — it’s about sustainability and systems. You start making decisions from a place of legacy.

And when you reach legacy, it’s about making a difference.
You’ve made the money. Now it’s about the meaning.

Bold Takeaway: Lifestyle leadership evolves through three stages — startup (time), scaling (systems), and legacy (impact).

[12:30] From Hustle to Harmony: Redefining Success

Patty Farmer:
At the scaling stage, you’re not driven by dollars — you’re driven by difference.
That’s where I am now. I don’t wake up thinking about money.
I ask, “How can I make a difference and contribute?”

I lead with contribution, because compensation will follow.

When you build relationships, opportunities multiply — and you realize you don’t have to do it all alone.
It’s easy to feel lonely at the top, but when you surround yourself with the right people, you’re never alone.

Kimberly Spencer:
That’s so powerful — contribution as currency.

[14:30] Other People’s People: The Secret to Sustainable Networking

Kimberly Spencer:
You touched on something I love — “other people’s people.” Can you talk about that?

Patty Farmer:
Absolutely. That’s one of my favorite parts of lifestyle-first leadership.
You don’t have to know everyone — you just need to connect with people who already serve your ideal clients.

Think about it: I may not directly serve virtual assistants, but VAs serve hundreds of people who are my ideal audience.
So if I build a relationship with one VA, I’m indirectly serving hundreds of my dream clients through that connection.

That’s lifestyle-first networking. It’s smart, sustainable, and deeply relational.

Bold Takeaway: Your next big opportunity isn’t one connection away — it’s one aligned community away.

[17:00] Reciprocity: The Heart of Relationship Marketing

Kimberly Spencer:
I love how public you are about supporting others — those LinkedIn reviews, the shoutouts. It’s rare and magnetic.

Patty Farmer:
Thank you! For me, it’s about reciprocity.

People love reciprocity, but they want the other person to go first.
I say, “You go first.”

When someone’s a guest on my podcast, I immediately leave them a LinkedIn recommendation, saying what a great guest they were.
I include a standout quote from their episode so others see their value.

It’s visibility that serves them and subtly promotes my podcast — a win-win.

Bold Takeaway: Give first. Visibility shared is visibility multiplied.

[19:30] The “Sandwich Method” for Podcast Guesting

Patty Farmer:
One of my favorite strategies is what I call The Sandwich Method.

Say I’m episode 300 on someone’s podcast.
After sharing my own episode, I go back and promote episode 299 and 301 — the ones before and after me.

It builds community, adds value to the host, and introduces me to new aligned audiences.
Plus, it shows I’m not there just for me.

That’s the kind of collaboration that creates longevity.

Bold Takeaway: Reciprocity creates reach — the more you promote others, the more visibility returns to you.

From Podcast Guest to Power Partner: Building Long-Term Relationships Through Lifestyle Leadership

[20:00] Podcasting as Relationship Currency

Kimberly Spencer:
You mentioned that you never think of a podcast interview as “one and done.” I love that. Tell me more about how you nurture those relationships after the mic goes off.

Patty Farmer:
For me, podcasting is about relationship building, not transactions.
When you’re on someone’s show, it’s like being invited into their home.
So I always ask myself, “How can I serve this host and their audience even after the recording stops?”

After an episode airs, I’ll check in, share it multiple times, and introduce other guests or resources that could support the host’s mission.
That’s lifestyle leadership — building community, not competition.

Bold Takeaway: Visibility fades fast, but relationships create legacy.

[22:30] The Simplest Networking Question That Changes Everything

Patty Farmer:
I always say: never end a conversation without asking, “How can I serve you?”

And here’s the magic — when they say, “I don’t know,” I tell them something simple:
“Introduce me to a podcast host.”

Not “get me booked.” Not “promote me.”
Just make an introduction.

That’s how opportunities multiply — through generosity and connection.
Because let’s be honest — everyone knows someone who has a podcast.

Bold Takeaway: The simplest ask often unlocks the most powerful opportunities.

[24:00] Qualifying the Right Podcast Opportunities

Kimberly Spencer:
You’ve been on so many podcasts. How do you decide which ones to say yes to?

Patty Farmer:
Oh, that’s a good one.
People assume I only go for big-name shows, but honestly, some of my best results came from brand-new podcasts.

When you’re episode five, the host is excited. They’ll promote the heck out of that episode.
It’s not about vanity metrics — it’s about alignment and value.

If I can contribute to their audience in a meaningful way, I’m in.
That’s lifestyle-first visibility.

Bold Takeaway: It’s not about the size of the stage — it’s about the strength of the synergy.

[26:00] Leading with Contribution Over Compensation

Patty Farmer:
If your only goal for being on a podcast is to make money or grow your audience, it won’t work.
That energy comes through.

Lead with value.
Show up to contribute first, not to extract.
And ironically, that’s what brings the biggest opportunities.

I always say: Lead with contribution — compensation will follow.

Kimberly Spencer:
Yes! That’s such a core truth in lifestyle leadership.

[28:30] How to Create a Legacy Through Connection

Patty Farmer:
Legacy isn’t about fame or fortune.
It’s about the ripple you create when you lead with authenticity.

Every time you show up to serve, to connect, to give — you’re building something that outlasts you.
That’s lifestyle-first business.
That’s impact.

Bold Takeaway: Legacy is built through people, not platforms.

Boundaries, Alignment, and Redefining Joy in Lifestyle-First Business

[30:00] The Hidden ROI of Podcasting and Speaking

Kimberly Spencer:
Something I admire about you is how intentional you are with where you show up. You treat visibility as a relationship, not a race. How has that mindset changed the results you’ve seen?

Patty Farmer:
Oh, massively.
You see, people think ROI means “Return on Investment.” For me, it’s also “Ripple of Impact.”

You might not see immediate conversions from every podcast or speaking gig, but when you show up with integrity and authenticity, your message travels farther than you realize.
Someone hears you, then six months later, they DM you and say, “I’ve been following you since that one interview — now I’m ready to work with you.”

That’s the ripple.
That’s what lifestyle-first leadership looks like — measuring success beyond instant metrics.

Bold Takeaway: The real ROI of visibility is relationships, not reach.

[33:00] Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

Kimberly Spencer:
Boundaries can be tough for purpose-driven entrepreneurs. How do you hold space for service while protecting your time?

Patty Farmer:
I used to say “yes” to everything — and it burned me out.
Now, I say “no” with gratitude.

Boundaries aren’t about rejection; they’re about alignment.
If an opportunity doesn’t support my lifestyle-first vision, it’s a no — even if it looks good on paper.

You teach people how to treat your time.
When you show respect for your own calendar, others will too.

Bold Takeaway: Boundaries don’t block opportunity — they attract alignment.

[36:00] Micro-Shifts, Massive Results

Patty Farmer:
People always think change has to be huge. It doesn’t.
It’s the micro-shifts that create massive results.

Like, stop saying “I don’t have time.” Replace it with “That’s not a priority.”
Boom. Instant clarity.

Lifestyle leadership means owning your choices — where your energy goes, your results grow.

Kimberly Spencer:
That’s such a reframe. You just dropped a mindset mic right there.

Bold Takeaway: Micro-shifts in language lead to macro-shifts in leadership.

[38:30] Joy as a Business Metric

Kimberly Spencer:
You talk a lot about joy as a strategy. That’s not something most business mentors lead with.

Patty Farmer:
Because most people still measure success by revenue.
But here’s the truth — if your business doesn’t bring you joy, it’s not sustainable.

Joy isn’t a reward you get at the end of success.
It’s the fuel that creates it.

When you make joy your metric, your creativity expands, your clients feel it, and your results multiply naturally.

That’s what a lifestyle-first business is built on — not sacrifice, but satisfaction.

Bold Takeaway: Joy is not a luxury — it’s your leadership strategy.

Purpose, Philanthropy, and the Legacy of Lifestyle-First Leadership

[40:00] Purpose Meets Profit: Building a Legacy Through Contribution

Kimberly Spencer:
One of the things I love most about your story is how your work has evolved into something that’s not just about business — it’s about giving back. Can you share what that looks like for you now?

Patty Farmer:
Absolutely. Right now, I’m working on a project that combines everything I believe in — purpose, contribution, and community.

I started a coffee company that sources beans from women in coffee-producing countries.
Each bag we sell helps fund entrepreneurship training for women farmers.

So every time someone buys that coffee, they’re helping another woman become self-sufficient.
That’s legacy.
That’s what it means to have a lifestyle-first business — one that supports your dream life and empowers others to build theirs.

Bold Takeaway: Legacy leadership blends profit with purpose — success that circulates, not accumulates.

[43:00] The Real Definition of Legacy

Kimberly Spencer:
That’s incredible. It’s such a tangible example of leadership through lifestyle and contribution. How do you personally define legacy?

Patty Farmer:
For me, legacy isn’t what you leave behind. It’s what you live right now — how you make people feel, what you model for them, how you serve.

You can’t talk about lifestyle leadership without talking about impact.
Your business is just the vehicle — the legacy is the transformation you create.

When people remember you, they won’t talk about your revenue. They’ll talk about how you made them feel seen, supported, and inspired.

Bold Takeaway: Legacy isn’t a finish line — it’s the footprint your leadership leaves every day.

[46:00] The Power of Alignment in Lifestyle-First Leadership

Patty Farmer:
If I could leave your listeners with one thing, it would be this:
Alignment is everything.

You can have all the strategy, all the systems, all the hustle — but if it’s not aligned with your values and lifestyle, you’ll still feel empty.

Lifestyle-first leadership means your business is an extension of who you are, not a mask you wear to make money.
When you’re aligned, everything flows — clients, creativity, and confidence.

Bold Takeaway: Alignment is the ultimate success strategy.

[48:00] The Final Mic Drop: Build the Business That Loves You Back

Kimberly Spencer:
If you could distill everything you’ve learned into one final piece of advice for entrepreneurs, what would it be?

Patty Farmer:
That’s easy.
Build the business that loves you back.

Don’t build something that drains you or demands constant sacrifice.
Design it around your joy, your freedom, and your purpose — because when your business loves you, you’ll have the energy and impact to love your clients better.

Bold Takeaway: The goal isn’t to chase freedom — it’s to build a business that embodies it.

[49:30] Closing Reflections

Kimberly Spencer:
Patty, you are pure fire. I feel like this conversation has redefined what it means to lead and live with purpose. Thank you for showing us that lifestyle-first leadership is not just possible — it’s powerful.

Patty Farmer:
Thank you, Kimberly. You’re doing incredible work — helping women own their stories, amplify their voices, and build businesses that support the life they love. That’s the ripple. That’s legacy.

💎 SEO Wrap-Up: Lifestyle-First Leadership Takeaways

• Define your lifestyle first — then build your business to support it.
  
  
• Do less, get more by focusing on what works and hiring brilliance around you.
  
  
• Lead with contribution, not compensation. Reciprocity multiplies your impact.
  
  
• Boundaries = alignment. Protect your time and energy like the CEO you are.
  
  
• Measure ROI as Ripple of Impact, not just Return on Investment.
  
  
• Joy is strategy, not a reward.
  
  
• Build the business that loves you back — that’s lifestyle-first leadership.

Ranked No.55 in the United States by Apple Podcasts for Marketing, within just one week of launching, and over 33,000 downloads in the first 5 months, the Communication Queen Podcast with Kimberly Spencer is on the fasttrack to becoming an industry GAMECHANGER, in supporting listeners to tell better stories, enhance their communication skills, and learn how to leverage getting booked on podcasts to grow their business.

From interviews with Top 100 Podcasters, to providing real-life storytelling coaching, and communication #quickies of bite-sized communication tips that you can start leveraging right away, to increase your authority and influence in your niche, this podcast is a must-listen for anyone looking to level up their storytelling skills to serve + sell more in their business. To listen to any of our past episodes for free, check out this page.