Enjoy this episode & transcript below where Kimberly Spencer, Master NLP Mindset & Communications Coach and CEO of Communication Queens, discusses implicit vs. explicit communication.

In this episode of the Communication Queens podcast, host Kimberly Spencer, a former screenwriter turned master communications coach, engages listeners with her enthusiastic and expressive style. She delves into the crucial role of explicit communication in relationships, decision-making, and manifestation. Kim highlights how implicit communication, marked by passive asking and wishing, often leads to unmet expectations and frustration. Through personal anecdotes, she underscores the power of clear, unapologetic requests in achieving goals and improving relationships. Listeners are encouraged to embrace explicit communication to shift from a passive stance to an empowered, decisive position.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

• Importance of explicit communication
• Impact on relationships, decision-making, and manifestation
• Implicit communication and its lower vibration
• Examples of unmet expectations and frustration due to implicit communication
• Shifting from passive to empowered stance through explicit communication
• Role of explicit communication in manifesting goals
• Making clear decisions and communicating openly with the universe
• Personal experiences illustrating the impact of explicit communication in relationships
• Embracing explicit communication and making decisive choices
• Commanding what is needed to manifest desired outcomes and improve relationships

FYI Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 30-minutes, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, Castbox, Amazon Music, iHeart Radio, Pandora, Youtube, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Kimberly Spencer (00:00:05) - Welcome to the Communication Queens podcast for the visionary leaders, speakers, service providers and podcasters who are looking to stand out sharing their story. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, former screenwriter turned master communications coach. On this podcast, I'll be coaching you on how to share your own transformation story. To that, you increase your visibility, influence, and income on podcast interviews. Let's get your voice heard.

Kimberly Spencer (00:00:31) - When you are speaking with implicit communication that is actually speaking from a space of a low vibration, because implicit communication is hoping. It's wishing, it's passive asking. It's saying, you know, things like, oh, I'd really like it if you did this, or it would be nice if you did this, or it would be nice if this happened to me. And while yes, that's not saying that you don't want those things, for example, it is lower because it's not actually commanding it to happen. The universe responds to commands. It responds to clear, candid, declaring what you want, deciding on what you want, and from that decision, figuring out the how.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:15) - A lot of implicit communication is waiting for somebody else or someone else to make that decision for you to come in and support you. So, for example, if you are in a relationship and you are using implicit communication with your partner, like it'd be really nice if you did the dishes well, you are leaving that your partner in the position of being able to make the decision for you, rather than you being the queen of your life and choosing to make that decision yourself of saying, hey honey, please do the dishes for me. That would be real help. That is an explicit command. That is an explicit request. You don't want to be like bossing. And, you know, watch your tone when you make commands. But clear direct commands shift how things get done and they shift you from being a passive reactionary to the world, kind of tossing you about with their decisions, deflecting your power to everyone else to be able to make that decision for you. To really standing in your power, commanding what it is that you want, commanding what it is that you need.

Kimberly Spencer (00:02:28) - And if your partner, for example, comes back and says, oh, I'm in the middle of this, can I get to that later, then that creates a greater discussion rather than the it'd be really nice if you did the dishes and then your partner doesn't do it because, yeah, it'd be really nice if they did the dishes, but you're leaving that decision in the other person's hands. So instead, if you need your partner to do the dishes, commanding that to be of saying, hey, honey, I really could use your support in having the dishes done. Can you get the dishes done by the end of the day then? Great. That is a clear, explicit command. That is a clear, specific request of your partner. The same is true with requests of the universe. We, like I said, I'm in my Ted talk. So many people, so many leaders don't make clear decisions. We live in the land of would like and wanting and trying, but not actually making a decision.

Kimberly Spencer (00:03:24) - And a decision is essentially a command to the universe of this is what's happening. I'm deciding from this space now. Sometimes shit happens as we know, and life throws you curveballs of death and, you know, things happening in your business and, you know, moving countries and things like that. I've certainly had my fair share in this in the past year. But from that space of looking at what is happening around you, assessing what is going on in your present reality, and not saying I should, could, wish it was different. Moving from the space of okay, this is present, this is here. What do I need now, looking from that space of presence, being decisive from that space of presence and then finding, how can you learn from this? What do you need to get from this? How can you best respond from this, from your highest vibration, to really still be able to manifest what it is that you want to create in this world? And so commanding in essence. And so when you give explicit commands of the universe, like let's use it for the example money, because that's a huge one for any business owner.

Kimberly Spencer (00:04:29) - So if you are looking to manifest a new client, let's say for example, you're looking to manifest a new client. You've just raised your rates. Good for you Queen, you just raised your rates and you're ready to go all in with really declaring what who it is that you are, what your services are worth, and claiming that, well, you've just made a decision. You've raised your rates. Now what's going to happen in the laws of the universe is that will come with some people may be questioning maybe that it's. Cause and effect. So you've raised your rates. You've declared, I am on this level. Well, you're gonna face experiences. They'll say, are you really certain that you're on this level? Just like when you start explicitly communicating to your partner, your partner is going to go from, whoa, are you bossing me around? Or oh, are you? Like, if you've never explicitly communicated, they're not really going to know what hit them with. They're so used to being passive and having the decision making be able to be deferred to them of, oh yeah, sure, it'd be nice if I do the dishes or oh yeah, it'd be nice if I took the trash out, but I choose not to, you know.

Kimberly Spencer (00:05:39) - That's their choice. Well, instead you deciding like, this is what I need. I need you to be here. For me. That's going to cause a shift in the communication of, like what? How the relationship is going. And so there may be a little bit of a growing and learning period in that space. The same is true when you make a decision about what it is that you want to achieve financially. When you make a decision, the universe is going to say, okay, you've made that decision. Are you ready to be on that level? Basically? So here's some pivots, here's some things. Are you staying committed to that decision and to communicating openly in command in what it is that you need? Okay, I still am deciding that this is my million dollar year. I'm still deciding that I'm getting a new client. Yes, I just had three, you know, crappy sales calls or something, and I'm still deciding. So those people weren't my people. So I'm.

Kimberly Spencer (00:06:28) - That doesn't mean that my decision has changed. I'm still getting, you know, a new client at my new rate. So that decision is a change in how you energetically show up. What will happen is, is that you may receive applications, people coming in who may not be a fit for that level of package or that level of that new pricing structure that you are now offering. And so that will be your space to say, nope, I'm sorry, I only work with people in this space. That is you staying emotionally committed to that decision. That doesn't mean you can't serve them in other ways. You can always provide free resources, podcasts, recommendations, book recommendations to get them to that point so that they can eventually afford those rates, but they may not be able to work with you where you are. Deciding that you are now, where you have explicitly communicated to the universe that you are now at this level, and that that is the level that you choose to play at. And so when you choose to express yourself and commit in explicit communication, you are candid, you are clear, you are saying what you want, you are commanding what it is that you need, what it is that you need in that moment, and you are being decisive in the moment with whether it's a hell yes that's leading you toward the decision, the ultimate decision, the goal, because that is what goals are.

Kimberly Spencer (00:07:42) - Ultimately, goals are decisions. And our communication is not just with our partners and the people around us, but our communication is that which we give to our subconscious mind, that which we give to the universe to say, hey, this is what I'm deciding on that I want if I'm truly committed 100% of that decision, and this is what I'm unavailable for, and being very clear that this is what I'm unavailable for, and being explicit and commanding of like, okay, universe, you're dealing this hand of these are things that I feel that I've already decided I'm unavailable for. So now how do I deal with this on my highest and best vibrational frequency? And that is how you start actually acting as if on the vibration of where you want to be, rather than implying, hoping, wishing, being in that low vibration. And the reason why implicit communication is a lower vibration. Because hoping, wishing, trying and passive asking is giving away your power. Ultimately, it is giving away your power to the powers it be to luck, to the universe, to saying, you know, okay, you know, I hope, I wish, I really would like this would be great if that this happened, but that's leaving the decision ultimately in the other person's hands, ultimately in the universe's hands, ultimately in luck's hands.

Kimberly Spencer (00:09:03) - And like Emerson said, shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect, cause and effect. This is essentially the law of cause and effect. The cause is you deciding that what it is that you need, and being clear and communicating what it is that you specifically need. So, for example, if I had been hoping, wishing, trying, passive asking or saying, you know, I would really like to have kids when I first started dating Spike, that may not have swayed him into having children with me. Like I was very clear and upfront and candid with my communication with him, saying that if you don't want kids, then we need to actually stop dating, because I could tell I was falling in love with him and I didn't want to take the relationship further or waste any more of his or my time because I respected him. And I wanted to be clear that kids are a non-negotiable. Obviously, we know which way he went. And that being said, I was commanding in the decision.

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:08) - I was 100% decided that I was going to have children. If it was with him, great. If not him, some someone better. Obviously it was with him and he was the better because he chose. He said, yeah, with you I can definitely see having kids. And so the next day I said, okay, great, let we made our decision. We're going to have kids. We could totally have kids together. Let's name them. And so we started naming our kids in. The first one was Declan and that's the first one who came. But that is explicit, candid, clear communication of saying what I wanted and being unapologetic for what it is that you want. If you want to get, you know, five new clients or if you want to make hit a new income level, or if you want to manifest your partner, if you want to manifest anything, then the universe requires you to command it. To decide it and command it, and then to have the courage to live into that.

Kimberly Spencer (00:11:04) - And when you start moving from implicit communication, especially in a relationship to explicit communication, there will be a shift in how people perceive you, because there is a shift that does take place because people are used to you being one way. People are used to you deferring your decisions. If you've been someone who's been implying or hoping or wishing or passive asking versus I am decided. I am standing firm in my power and my power to choose and my power for what I need. And if you can not give me what I need, that I'm on to the next decision. Now, that doesn't mean that you like dump your partner if they don't do the dishes. But if you're, for example, having the conversation with your partner of I need you to do the dishes, could you do the dishes by tonight? And that would be a huge help for me. Then if your partner says, I'm not able to do this because of this, isn't this that allows you to have an open, honest, explicit.

Kimberly Spencer (00:12:06) - Conversation around what actually needs to be addressed. Maybe you have a conversation around priorities, because maybe if your partner is not able to get to it, then then you get to make the next decision. Oh, okay. Maybe your partner is working on a big project themselves, and so they need to focus on getting that project done. And dishes aren't a priority for them either. And so maybe that gives you an opportunity to assess what really is a priority. Maybe that gives you the opportunity to then decide again based on the evidence at hand in the present moment. Now that you know that your partner has some big project that they need to finish, that is more of a priority for them, that allows you to decide and make another decision to say, are the dishes really necessary to get done today? Maybe they could get done tomorrow, maybe you could find a different way. Or maybe you decide, okay, I actually need to support my partner and do them so that he doesn't feel the burden of that so that he can finish his project.

Kimberly Spencer (00:13:04) - So you can add communication allows you to then go from one decision to the next. Implicit communication causes you to go from implied communication, not necessarily getting the results you want. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. And then if you don't get the results that you want, then it can build up that resentment and those feelings of frustration or of not being heard. Well, maybe you're not being heard because you aren't explicitly commanding what it is that you need or assessing what actually is in the moment, so that you have the ability to make that next best decision and then keep deciding from there, from that space of explicitly commanding what it is that you need. So if you love this episode, if it's served you in helping improve your communication, let me know in Instagram. Tag me in your stories and I love seeing all your breakthroughs, ahas and revelations from this episode and as always, stand out and be heard.

Kimberly Spencer (00:14:09) - Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, subscribe, leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Kimberly Spencer (00:14:15) - For more tips on guest podcasting, storytelling and communication strategies, follow us on social media at Communication Queens Agency and visit us at Communication queens.com. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. And in the meantime, remember your story has the power to save one life. Let your story and your voice be heard.

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