Enjoy this episode & transcript below where Kimberly Spencer, Master NLP Mindset & Communications Coach and CEO of Communication Queens, discusses how you can fix a podcast interview or a public speaking fail.

In this episode of the Communication Queens podcast, host Kimberly Spencer, a master communications coach and former screenwriter, delves into the art of gracefully recovering from mistakes during podcast interviews or public speaking. She emphasizes that errors should be seen as chances to foster trust and connection with listeners. A "recovering control freak" guest contributes to the conversation, while audience engagement is also acknowledged. Kimberly offers a practical five-step strategy to handle slip-ups with poise, underscoring the value of authenticity in effective communication.

FYI Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 30-minutes, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

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Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Have you ever flubbed a word on a podcast or said something that you really wish you hadn't said, or just, I don't know, maybe like me and falling off your chair in the middle of a podcast interview. Listen to this episode on how to fix the flubs. When you have a podcast, interview, or public speaking, fail. Stay tuned. Welcome to the Communication Queens podcast for the visionary leaders, speakers, service providers and podcasters who are looking to stand out sharing their story. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, former screenwriter turned master communications coach. On this podcast, I'll be coaching you on how to share your own transformation story so that you increase your visibility, influence, and income on podcast interviews. Let's get your voice heard. Hello, I am Kimberly Spencer, your host of the communication Queen podcast and founder of the Communication Queens Agency, where we specialize in getting the visionaries, entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders booked on the top podcast that build their brand awareness and their bottom line. So having been in the podcasting space for the past five years now, I have made a few flubs.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:07) - And fortunately, if it's your own podcast, you can just kind of edit around it. But what do you do if it's on somebody else's podcast? You don't have control over the editing. And for the recovering control freaks.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:17) - I may or may not be raising my hand on that one.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:20) - Here is how to let go. He'll fix a mistake. And actually why mistakes are just absolute gold for your podcast interview. So first and foremost, one paradigm that I talk about in my book is the Jennifer Lawrence Anne Hathaway paradigm. And this is the paradigm. It's a perfection paradigm. So if you think back to 2013, when Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway were like both fresh on the scene, like Anne Hathaway had been in the game for a minute, but Jennifer Lawrence was like, everyone was like, oh my gosh, who is this queen like? And she was flipping off the cameras and like, stepping out of a limo and like, talking about how she ate McDonald's in her Oscar dress and whatnot.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:58) - The media loved Jennifer Lawrence. She was raw, authentic, just. She was who she was. And Hathaway. However, I don't know whether it was her PR team or what, but they positioned her as perfect. Like she was like the Oscar darling. Like just could not have been more just like she looked regal when she received her Oscar and the media eviscerated her. They actually at one point there was like 1.8 million searches for Anne Hathaway. Annoying on Google because something was the way she was being perceived was annoying. And it really is if you compare the two because they positioned her as perfect subconsciously. When somebody is perfect. Our brains are like, we know we're not perfect. Like, I certainly know I'm not like we are. We're thinking like, what's wrong with them? Like what? What's actually going on in their life? Like, what are what? What's real, what's what are what are they hiding? Because we know perfection is an illusion. And if you've been in sales for a hot minute, you know that you need to build the no like and trust factor.

Kimberly Spencer (00:03:09) - Well, we don't naturally or subconsciously trust perfect because nothing's perfect. We know that on an unconscious level. And so when we see someone who's positioning themselves is everything is poised and well crafted and perfect and they never make a mistake. Well. Then we don't trust them subconsciously. So actually, mistakes happening on a podcast interview is actually really good. So if you if you flub a word, if you fall out of your chair, if you can't find a word sometimes like I will forget a word, or I may say a word that may not really be a word I may. I've made up words from time to time. To err is human, and we as humans actually psychologically do not trust someone who we perceive as perfect. So when we see someone error, make a mistake, flub, fuck something up. It actually builds trust, especially if we can recover with grace. And so I'm going to teach you my five step process to recovering from mistakes with grace. So step number one breathe. It's just a podcast interview.

Kimberly Spencer (00:04:11) - It's just a public speech. No matter whether no matter how many people are in the audience, just know no puppies died because you messed up a word. So it's okay. All is well. What we have to do is let the sympathetic nervous system chill. Because what happens is, is when we flub or fuck up or make a mistake or trip. Like one time I actually tripped on stage and my skirt fell off. Yes, really. As I was going to accept an award, I was like ten. Um, but it was so embarrassing. And yet I just kind of like it. Fortunately, I was like in a leotard, so it wasn't completely naked, but it was just like, it definitely was a moment. And I took a breath. And I place the award or the certificate that I was receiving, like, low to hide my crotch. And then I took a deep breath and just like, bowed. So the power is, and especially if you're on a podcast, ideally you're clothed so you don't have to worry about your clothes falling off.

Kimberly Spencer (00:05:12) - But the key is, is to breathe. Just take a deep breath. You can actually stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest, and digest. Because especially when you make mistake, it's easy to kick on that sympathetic nervous system. So the sympathetic nervous system is your fight flight freeze. It's like holy crap. And then so you freeze and you feel like you get stuck. So the the key is to take a deep breath, like take a deep breath, inhale and then exhale. Oh, that felt good. And when you take that deep breath you exhale longer than you inhale. When you do that you activate your parasympathetic nervous system. If you do that for just even a few deep breaths, your parasympathetic nervous system will chill out. Number two reframe. So once you've breathed, mistakes make you more human. So just remember the Jennifer Lawrence Anne Hathaway paradigm you have now, you know, successfully Jennifer Lawrence. Did you just humanized yourself in the eyes of the audience. So you're welcome.

Kimberly Spencer (00:06:07) - Like thank yourself. You just made yourself more human in the eyes of the audience. That's a great thing, because you've actually built more rapport from your authenticity and your vulnerability and your mistake. So good job. Good on you. Number three. Remember that shame loves secrets, so pretending like it didn't happen is going to make it even more cringe. So instead, number four, name it to claim it. Call yourself out. Address it. There is power and profit and possibility in your mistake. So it also diffuses his power. So a huge piece is when you can diffuse the power. You diffuse also the potential opportunity for any naysayer or negative nelly to call you out on your mistake that really like, let's be honest, that's a shadow of their own negative perceptions where someone who's like, oh, they're trying to get at that gotcha moment. You see this a lot in politics, but if you name it and you claim it and you just own it, it has no power over you and you actually take your power back and you call yourself out and you address it and you just own it.

Kimberly Spencer (00:07:16) - There is massive power in ownership because the rest of the world, especially in higher positions of power, um, or influence or visibility, you will have those people who were like, see, she's not perfect. It's like, yeah, I never said I was. And that actually will humanize you for the people who are for you, for the people who want to just project their own negative perceptions. You can't do anything for them. They're just going to be assholes. Like they got to eventually have a self-awareness moment, look in the mirror and just realize that that that everybody, if everybody you're meeting is an asshole, that means the asshole is you. So instead, when you name it to claim it, you call yourself out, you own your mistake, and you'll just let it be what it is. And you claim your power. And thus people, you're more humanized, you're more authentic from it. And then those who are like, yeah, well, see, she's not perfect. You're like, yeah, I never said I was great.

Kimberly Spencer (00:08:14) - Next. And number five. And this is my favorite one, is you can move on. It's basically like Q the Ariana Grande. Thank you. Next you are here to serve a purpose. Your message will serve. And if you want the queenly boss move like the Queen communication communication Queen, use that mistake. Flub or fuck up as a teaching tool, as a demonstration of the embodiment of the principles you're about to talk about on the podcast interview, or in the speech or in the arena. Wherever it is that you are, use that mistake that, you know, slip or trip up as an example. So, for example, um, I was, uh, emceeing a giant 250 woman conference. And being there, I, we did a whole, like, dragon slaying exercise where I had them all build dragons and out of Play-Doh. It was super fun. And then we had this, like, battle cry, and then we, you know, did a scream and then they squashed the dragons.

Kimberly Spencer (00:09:17) - It was super fun, really powerful. So many women had so many great takeaways. And I said, like, would anyone like to share their experience? And so I'm expecting like, oh my gosh, I'm so empowered. This is so amazing. Well, I had one that was like, I didn't squash my dragon. And now while this isn't like a mistake on my part, like, how do you recover from that when you are like, you know, oh, that person just actually didn't do the exercise. Do they like they? So it's not a mistake, but it is like it can throw you off your game because you're looking like I was looking for like the people who had had the transformation. And then this person's like, oh, I didn't actually squash my dragon. And I remembered this tip and I flipped it on its head. And I said, isn't that interesting how some of us have dragons beliefs that we're so attached to? We refuse to squash them because they're so deeply entwined with our identity.

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:14) - Game changing moment. Because the whole point of the exercise was to squash alumnae beliefs and dragons. And it was such a powerful teaching moment to say, yeah, there are sometimes some beliefs, some things that we don't want to let go of as humans because we're so scared of what's on the other side, or more importantly, who was on the other side. And so I use that mistake. It it wasn't really a mistake, but it was definitely something that could throw you off your game if you're not an experienced speaker. But it was in that moment that I was like, oh, that's that's a perfect example. It even made it better. So I am always of the belief system, and this is something that I take into every. Communication, every public speaking, every keynote, no matter what I do, it's this or something better. And if I'm blessed with something better, like if I'm if I'm blessed with making a mistake or having someone not follow through on what I said to do and not actually have the experience, it actually can make it a better learning for everyone to teach it.

Kimberly Spencer (00:11:14) - And now I'm teaching it to you. So it it demonstrated an embodiment of the principles that I was talking about in the exercise and the exercise of slaying your dragons and slaying your negative belief systems, or slaying your doubts. Some people have had that doubt or fear for so long that it's become a part of them, and some people don't want to let that go. And that's okay. It doesn't make them wrong or bad, but I was able to leverage that moment and teach to the audience about what are those? And then I expand it and I said, well, what are those things? You were able to slice some dragons today, but what are those ones that you just refuse to slay? What are those ones that you are so have grown, so attached to that they're now a part of you, and you don't want to see who's on the other side. So it is. Just know that that that is like queen, Queen communication, Queen move like that is a communication Queen mastery is to be able to use what is given and play with it in the moment.

Kimberly Spencer (00:12:19) - It's what I call an it's what is called an improvisation, or at least an improvisational comedy is called yes anding. So you take what's given. So a mistake, you take what's given. The mistake happened. We all accept that it's there and then we. Yes. And it we say yes, that happened. And then there's this, this and this and here's this belief that we get to shift now or here is this new proposal, or here it is, this new way of action or way of thinking. That is mastery of communication. It is your humanity that will connect others to their potential to reclaim their own stories. And it is through being the example that you let your story be heard. Foibles, mess ups, mistakes and all because that is how you were able to transform people's lives by being courageous, being vulnerable, and being you fully human, warts and all. As always, if you love this episode, I so appreciate when you just share it with just one person. If you have somebody who's looking to get started in public speaking or has already established public speaker, and maybe they are coming off of a mistake or two that they are struggling to recover from, please just send us their way to give them hope, give them light and give them a process for success.

Kimberly Spencer (00:13:37) - As always, stand out and be heard. I'll see you next time. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, subscribe! Leave us a review and share it with your friends. For more tips on guest podcasting, storytelling and communication strategies, follow us on social media at Communication Queens Agency and visit us at Communication queens.com. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. And in the meantime.

Kimberly Spencer (00:14:00) - Remember your story has the power to save one life. Let your story and your voice be heard.

Ranked No.55 in the United States by Apple Podcasts for Marketing, within just one week of launching, and over 33,000 downloads in the first 5 months, the Communication Queen Podcast with Kimberly Spencer is on the fasttrack to becoming an industry GAMECHANGER, in supporting listeners to tell better stories, enhance their communication skills, and learn how to leverage getting booked on podcasts to grow their business.

From interviews with Top 100 Podcasters, to providing real-life storytelling coaching, and communication #quickies of bite-sized communication tips that you can start leveraging right away, to increase your authority and influence in your niche, this podcast is a must-listen for anyone looking to level up their storytelling skills to serve + sell more in their business. To listen to any of our past episodes for free, check out this page.